You’ll never truly understand the phrase “It takes a Village” until you become a mother. The late nights, the early mornings, the heavy loads you will carry — emotionally and physically. Motherhood is truly the most demanding job in the universe, and in the early days, it can be the most isolating too. That is, until you realize how many women you can call on to ease your journey. And how a little connection can go a really long way.
At Well Rounded NY, we’re constantly discovering how important a sense of community is during pregnancy and parenting. So here’s 5 female relationships we think you need in your community now that you’re a new mom.
Mom or Mother-in-Law. We know, we know, it’s been eons since she gave birth or breastfed or introduced solids. But do not underestimate the universality of motherhood. We’ve been having babies since the beginning of time, and while yes, the finer details might get slightly updated, it’s generally the same principal: birth, feed, love. Your mom or mother-in-law probably did it with less resources, knowledge and support than you have now. So try to appreciate her sage advice and the wisdom she has earned through her own experiences. And cut her some slack — remember that she too, is experiencing something for the first time: becoming a grandmother.
Mom friend. Making mom friends can feel kind of like dating, but we swear when you find the right ones, it will have been worth every awkward minute. A great mom friend will understand what you’re going through as a new mama. She’ll be the shoulder you need to cry on, the ear you need to listen, the hands you need to get a break from baby. She’ll motivate you to get out, and she’ll share her baby gear recs and strategies. She’ll make you laugh, and make you sign up for that silly looking baby class. And best of all, she’ll introduce you to others, because if she’s cool, well then her mom friends must be cool too!
Caregiver. First lesson for a new mom: it’s ok to ask for help. And then it’s ok to walk away from baby for a few minutes…or even hours. Find someone you trust — a family member, a daycare provider, a nanny — and let baby go. It’s good for you to get some space and take care of yourself, and it’s good for baby to learn how to interact with another adult. Remember your caregiver is not you… and that’s a good thing! Maybe her tips and tricks will help solve your existential baby dilemma. At the very least, you’ll get some space from said existential baby dilemma.
Non-Mom friend. We know this can be the hardest relationship to maintain. Baby’s your entire life now, at least during those first early days and weeks. But this one is a biggie. The non-mom friend is the one that can remind you of who YOU were before you became a mom. She can distract you with stories of her non-mom life, which is a godsend when you’re up in arms over just how many poops baby has (or has not) made that day. Plus she’ll be infinitely impressed with your ability to keep another human being alive (don’t worry, she’ll never know about all those other females listed above that are helping you out).
Trainer/Boss/Aesthetician/etc. This one is all about you. She’s whoever you need in your life that makes you a Beyond Mom…by keeping you fit, or intellectually challenged, or just neatly waxed. She doesn’t actually even have to know you’re a mom! And while we know it can feel like by spending time with her you’re sacrificing time with baby, the truth is your baby will admire you for it… you know one day when she’s not sleeping, crying and pooping. Trust us, you’ll be a better mom because of it.
Well Rounded NY is an online destination for trendsetting mamas-to-be, providing inspiration and information that speaks to a cosmopolitan pregnancy. Founders and editors Kaity Velez and Jessica Pallay have created an online community that will help you not only “deal” with your pregnancy, but navigate it, revel in it, and most importantly, celebrate it.
Featured Photo by Jonica Moore Studio
“Ladies in the Park” Photo by Stephania Photography