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A 24-hour Bug in more ways than one (plus I was cyberbullied, go figure)
We are all better today…and now have more work to do than I even want to think about.
But I started already and so did Randy. We’re on track to finishing this and having next week to basically chill out and plan for 2009.
It’s going to be a good week. I can feel it in mah bones!
Oh, I was also cyberbullied this past week. A family member (because no one hates like family) decided to slander/libel my happy butt on the Tribune page - because don’t think of why I would do a story for the newspaper or anything..just hate me for being on the front page.
It’s okay - at first I was angry because I knew who it was (they weren’t smart enough to know that the Trib reads your ip address when you post and it tells the town you’re in, DUH) and then I was confused because I know their secrets and it would be silly to be so ignorant to me online when I know what the FBI would like to…
…and then I realized that if they were so mad and hateful and spiteful they disregarded all the ways I could ruin their lives (crappy as they may be) to call me white trash (among other things) online…well…they’re doing even worse than I thought.
They can drag tidbits of my life out into the comments section of the Trib completely disregarding context all they want, because I’m going to go back to doing what I was doing before they came on my radar….
…which is not think about them at all. What’s the point? We’re doing better than them even with Randy getting laid off. No shopaholics in this family, no coke addicts, no weed dealers, no alcoholics, no codependent Lifetime movies waiting to happen.
At least I’m classy enough to keep my stepdaughter’s life off of the Internet. Too bad they don’t have the same respect for family and privacy that I do that they would use her as a weapon against me.
The irony is that she is the one who stopped talking to me. After being infertile for a few years and being "unable to look at my kids because they made her sad" she got pregnant. With twins. I went to the hospital with her when she had light bleeding because no one else would….
…come 14 weeks and her second trimester she disappeared. All her real friends (that didn’t want to listen to her talk about her infertility ad nauseam like I was willing to) now wanted to hear about her pregnancy. So she ditched me and never called again…
I was mad at first - but then realized there would come a time when she wished she was still my friend and family member. Since most of the comments on the Trib site were made at 10pm on Christmas Day I would say that day has come and gone. Because guilt makes you more hateful than any other emotion. It eats you up inside until you need to turn around and lash out.
While she was writing hateful things on Christmas night, I was laying on my grandma nana’s daybed with my legs on her and she was petting the tops of my feet and telling Sadie to stick stickers on the tops of my feet and we were laughing.
I don’t need to retaliate - I win by having a great life every day.
Family Under the Weather
Randy kept me up most of last night - he’s sick.
When he’s up…I’m up.
This morning little Abby woke up making awful retching sounds.
It is going to be an interesting day with Randy and Abby sick.
Me? I’m not sick but Randy kept waking me up unintentionally and when he didn’t the thunderstorm of freaking doom did. Simultaneous thunder and lightning both loud enough and bright enough to wake me up from a sound sleep.
So…the kids will be having peanut butter cookies for breakfast. I’m too tired to throw together real food and they’ll be excited because it’s a treat.
On the bright side J & D came over last night for an impromptu board game night. It was really fun!
Update: I hit “Publish” on this post and heard more awful retching noises from the living room. Guess Sadie is sick too. It’s going to be a VERY interesting day. *sigh*
Christmas Was Good (thank goodness it’s over)
I think my favorite part of Christmas this year was realizing that my absolute favorite part of Christmas is the car ride to my grandparent’s house.
The rushing and getting ready is over and you’re driving to your destination.
In those moments everything is perfect. The ham hasn’t been burned, none of the family has had too much to drink, and everyone is happy. The moments of driving are the perfection of anticipation. The pause in the space-time continuum where everything could be perfect. The perfect Christmas really and truly could happen.
Realizing this at the beginning of our drive to gramma’s let me enjoy the trip that much more because I chose not to think about what would be at grandmother’s house once we got there and everything started on its inevitable course.
Really, that drive was perfect. Filled with all of us singing carols and laughing. Seriously joyful.
Once there I forgot to eat anything because I spent all evening with my great-grandmother. Feeding her, keeping her from breaking things she would try to push out of the way to get to a hallucination she was trying to grab…the orgy of present opening that always makes my nana-gramma mad because she wants everyone to have a gift and then open them one by one so everyone can ooh and aah over each individual gift. (It takes HOURS)
The coffee the pie the relaxing the laughing.
It was a lovely holiday - there will never be another like it - because I’m pretty sure we’ll have one less member of the family come next Christmas…but it was as good as it could possibly be this year and for that I am happy and thankful and thrilled.
….and tired and exhausted and so glad its over.
Isn’t that how it’s supposed to be?
Christmas When It Isn’t Easy (but really is)
So many things seemed to go wrong all at once, and you know what, I say to hell with it.
I’m not going to be afraid of the next thing that could happen.
I am a really lucky woman and need to stop having the biggest pity party ever just because some things didn’t go my way.
Because Christmas isn’t about presents or money or stuff at all.
It’s about hope and love and family - all of which I have in abundance. I don’t need a big family, I have a functional family that spent the evening frosting cookies in different colors…and they look fantastic if I do say so myself. *grin*
Christmas Day we will go spend it with my crazy off-the-wall daytime drama of a family that calls itself dysfunctional but is more functional than 90% of the middle to upper class families I’ve been part of or visited. Because we have love.
I’ve had money and I’ve been poor (Heck, I’ve been homeless LOL) and fortunes change fast and things happen quickly and I’ll be ready for them. As ready as I can be.
My sixth wedding anniversary is coming up and I can’t imagine being married to anyone else. We argue and bicker - but there is so much love it’s really kind of nauseating.
As long as I have love in my life, I will have hope in my heart, and as long as I have hope in my heart and a brain in my head…there will always, eventually, be money again.
Merry Christmas. I’m done being a whiner. WooHOO!
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