For those of you on my Instagram, you may see that I’ve been visiting a lot of brand new babies recently- it’s baby season! But a very special baby was born this past week to a dear friend of mine from college and this one has special significance.
So many of us take our fertility for granted. I remember years back when my friend showed up to take my yoga class and told me that they had been trying to conceive for several months and nothing was happening. She was scared. Fast forward two years later, and a tearful woman showed up to my living room, confessing frustration, exhaustion, a general sense of “over it,” and with all of it- a true desire to finally be pregnant. Not long after came the choice to go the IVF route and with courage and commitment, she stepped into it. To her it seemed like an eternity, I’m sure. To me, it seemed that in several months, a very hungry person met me for dinner and told me the news: Finally, she was pregnant.
Throughout her pregnancy she confessed to me how alienating the IVF process was. How waiting rooms of women struggling to be mothers stared down at their phones and didn’t acknowledge one another. I understand the exhaustion and dare I say the shame involved in these moments. Who exactly wants to chat at 8 am right before a procedure? But the community builder in me wished for my friend, and for all women, that this process somehow felt friendlier.
As her pregnancy progressed, she battled with many of the same questions and concerns as I myself had gone through. How much time will I take with the baby before returning to work? What should I register for? When is the time to buy a nursing bra? Am I going to fall in love the minute the baby is born? All of these questions, I did my best to help with but she navigated through them in her own way. Every time I saw her though, despite what her questions might have been, I felt amazed by her belly growing and how hard she worked to get to that very moment.
And so when the little one was finally born this past week, emotional friend that I am, I shed a tear of joy. Finally, all that hard work had paid off. The baby arrived and my friend now begins the journey of motherhood- challenging, beautiful, intense, and all encompassing. I’m excited to watch her transform.
Lastly, I want to let all of the Beyond Moms and the women who are going Beyond to create the family of their dreams…I see you! I am amazed at your diligence, bravery and commitment. I hope, over time, there is more community for women who have to work so hard to make their family- as we know as Beyond Moms, community is so important at every phase and stage and some of us need it even more than others.
Many congrats to all of my friends having babies right now- you know who you are!