But it’s not.

I think the strangest thing about last night’s funeral is that I felt like I somehow stumbled into the wrong one. Seriously. They were describing this person. The “open mic” portion of the eulogy saw person after person after person (about 10 in all) go up and espouse on the virtues and kindness and loving nature of this person. The word that kept coming up was “sweet” or “sweetheart.”

The closest I could come was that most of these people knew him after I did.

Well, no, that’s not entirely true.

There were a group that knew him way before I did too.

Only one guy within an eight year period of me knowing him.

…and I had no idea who they were talking about.

I shook the cobwebs of my brain loose to sift through everything I knew about him looking, searching for those kind adjectives. Trying to find one instance of this person I kept hearing about. All the memory archives came up blank.

So…I was at a stranger’s funeral. A sweet, kind, loving stranger who wrote letters and notes and sent clippings to, it seemed, hundreds of people while calmly and patiently collecting his collectibles and enjoying his hobbies.  A sweet, simple, down-to-earth man. One that would be sorely missed by so many.

Then…a glimmer…one of the speakers mentioned his mother – in her 80’s at the time – raking the leaves in front of the house they shared. “A-ha!” I said to myself. “Here it is, then. One sentence in a whole funeral that refers to the man I came to mourn.”

The one that made me believe that inside of that closed baby-blue casket was the man I remembered.

Well, that and the whole Chaucer middle-english thing. That was a dead giveaway.

No pun intended.

It’s a concept photo that embodies a word. This weeks word? Guilty.

The reason I love this photo is because your first instinct for why this embodies the word guilty is probably wrong. Sure it’s a mixed drink and the middle of the day. Drinking could be the way to go with the guilty vibe.

But it’s not.

I feel like a horrible person for using plastic cups. Because the amount of pollution caused by recycling plastic is disgusting. I know this, but I still love drinking out of plastic cups. It might be fond memories of frat parties in college…it might be that I can throw them away and not stuff my dishwasher with one more thing…I don’t know.

But when people come over I hide my plastic cups (unless it’s a birthday party because those are universally exempt from having to be entirely green) until they go, so they don’t judge me for my love of the disposable cup.

Especially the red ones. With the grip texture. they’re like a siren song from the Walmart aisle you’re never supposed to go down…calling to me…promising both mixed drink delights and easy clean-up.

The very definition of guilt, I would say.

Because, in my opinion, we’re going into a place where it’s going to be difficult to pick losers in the market. Simply because homes will be built again, the world will turn and no matter how poor any of us are, the sun will come up tomorrow.

I need to do an interview with a stock expert, I think. I hear pundits and read blogs about finances and the stock market and I just don’t understand. Unless you go into futures or weird crap like commodities, you can’t lose more than you put in – there aren’t any S&P500 thugs that come to your house with brass knuckles because you bought stock in a company that went out of business.

Hmmm…I wonder if there are any stock experts that talk to mommybloggers. Even though I don’t know if I’m a mommyblogger in anything but name only since my focuses are mostly on business growth, debt elimination, and investing. That’s not very mommyblog of me, is it? Except I am a mom that happens to blog.

But back to Lending Club…

One of my favorite charities is ModestNeeds.org – it’s a place that gives microloans to people that have (you guessed it) modest needs. A guy who needs his alternator fixed or he can’t drive to work – that sort of thing.

Lending Club works on kind of the same premise, except you don’t have to be totally philanthropic about it. Because you get a return on your investment of 9%-16%-ish … unless you don’t get paid back at all, in which case you lost your money.

Kind of like if a business goes out of business that you bought stock in.

So I’m not sure which way to go on this one. Any stock experts out there willing to help out a marketer-mom with a knack for picking decent stocks?

My baby has been so fussy since she got her vaccination, and I feel bad for her. I’m not anti-vax … I’m pro-delayed-vax. I schedule only the necessary vaxes and then space them out so we never get more than one shot at a time and also make sure that all the vaxes she does get are made with dead viruses.

Makes you hungry just thinking about dead viruses, right?

On the bright side, my doctor is 100% on board with my strategy. Too bad the medical assistant is not, and always forgets who we are for the first five minutes of the visit – the five minutes where she judges us for not vaccinating according to schedule. I just reminded her yesterday that I sent her a Christmas card. To her HOME. That she gave me the address to. Then she was really nice again.

Funny how someone can trust you enough to give you their home address and forget you two months down the road.

Of course, the ability to make people trust you that much repeatedly is how you build a business in a recession. The check always gets handed over to the bidder with the highest trust level, because business owners want to make sure they’re going to get work done for that money.

Sometimes I think it would be easier to sell office furniture, office supplies, life insurance, or any other product rather than services – because then there is something the buyer can hold in their hands and say, “This is mine. I purchased this. With my money.” Instead of the hours that go into creating and launching campaigns.

On the bright side I’m not the one doing the work, I’m just the secretary. Just. LOL

Part of me really wants to make up a fake name like LouBelle Johnson for when I answer the phone. I won’t really do it, because that’s sleazy and untrustworthy…but couldn’t you just see me answering the phone with a southern drawl, “Good Morning and thank you for calling Marketing Curve, this is LouBelle Johnson…how may I help you today?”

I would spend the better part of every work day laughing myself into a stupor. Then I’d spend the other half scouting for leads the way I do now.

Because, yeah, there are leads involved. This is a real company y’all. There are plans for an office space in the future.

The funny thing is we’ve been working at this business for about four years now. (Started sometime in ‘05) and just recently did the opportunities start to seemingly fall in our laps. The people were receptive to the ideas and concepts, and meetings are happening. It all feels so easy this time that we’re prepared to take full advantage of what seems like the best. timing. ever. for doing a business push.

Or, at least, it seems that way.

Okay, I’ve used up my morning break and if my boss catches me blogging instead of working I might get written up. LMAO But I do have about 15 hours of work to squeeze into the next 8 hours or so.

Hope everyone is having a fabulous hump day!

In the interest of making sure I have as little chance as possible of getting a gig with ING Direct – I am going to open it up to you, my dear readers, and send you over to ING where you can apply to be a blogger for ING Direct.

Because I’m stupid.

See, I know a lot of writers. Most of them are totally into money and finances like I am. So it’s basically saying, “Hey…you people that are as good at writing or even better at writing than  me – go take this gig!!”

Even though I really, really want it.

But what goes around comes around and this is me making a deposit into the karmic savings account. Even if I’m holding onto the dream with a deathgrip before sharing it and letting it go into the wild for you to try and score.

You can enter until February 15th, and the rules are all on the We the Savers Blog as well as the We the Savers Blogger websites.

Go now, and take my dream gig.

Because I love you.

But, you know, if you were bored or something and hated writing and never wanted to blog…it wouldn’t be totally out of line to hop on over to the We the Savers Blog and maybe tell them that Jen from Beyond Mom is a purrrrfect choice to talk about saving and doesn’t mind sharing how she busts her butt to save or invest, even if it’s just a little at a time.

I still write some freelance stuff and do odds and ends, but it’s the Internet equivalent of working a job that’s so part time the other employees are pretty sure your mom made you take the job to learn responsibility, not because you need a paycheck.

But it’s all the husband’s show now….and he seems to be taking to the stage like a duck to water. Meetings of all sorts – client, potential client, team, and networking – take up extra time here and there that he would normally use to catch up on Mafia Wars.

Okay, I admit it, I don’t think he plays Mafia Wars but you get my point.

Maybe in other families both spouses go after their dream at 100% full speed – even when they have kids – because they’re just so Type A Personality that they don’t have any other option but to do everything to the absolute max. Maybe I have unrealistic expectations.

Recently, though, I realized I like spending time with my kids. They’re pretty cool and I enjoy their company. So if I get to focus on my kids, do household accounting, keep us on our debt snowball, AND help my husband by making great business cards and being secretarial staff and doing an amazing job….why not?

Everything is looking pretty good so far

We have the DBA taken care of, and hubby is on his way to pick up the girls from preschool.

Wow, I remember when we worked like this before – pregnancy changes so much – and I’m looking forward to getting back to it.

Does this make me a glorified secretary for my husband? Yep. Am I okay with it? I’m working on it.

I also get to be the accountant, graphic designer, copywriter (of course!) and bookeeper…so my talents don’t go completely to waste! LOL

I’m starting to get to the place where I’m less scared and more excited. That’s a good sign, right?

I have got to get right, I’m telling you, this is just a lingering feeling of awful that keeps me from focusing and I want to sleep it off but I’m afraid that might take a couple more weeks.

In the meantime, here’s what’s going on in Casa de G today:

• Submitting a DBA to the local county.
• Revamping and ordering business cards.
• Writing a plan to get to the people we’re targeting. (Aim…ready…LOL)
• Hounding hubby to finish his white paper and case studies (Aim…ready…NAG! haha)

It doesn’t seem like a lot, maybe, but it is a heck of a list and if I’m doing my job we’re going to get some serious traction on that white paper and those case studies. Both are very important to the new business plan. On the bright side, white papers and the like are hubby’s specialty.

You know me, I only write fun stuff. I don’t do well with dry writing. It’s not my bag.

But it’s Monday, and I’m feeling physically bad but mentally great.

It’s a new dawn, it’s a new day, yadda, yadda, yadda…the bottom line is it’s time to kick some butt.

In the meantime, if you’re in cook county, and need to download the forms to file a DBA you can go to the Cook County Clerk’s webpage to download and print a DBA form.

It might be a fever-dream, but you know, sometimes those are good, too.

I’m going back to basics. Anytime I see a site where someone is selling Internet marketing services, I always think, “If they know so much, why aren’t they doing it for themselves instead of for someone else?” Because, you know what? If you’re good enough to be SELLING Internet marketing services, you should be using them yourself for more than getting people to your website. You should pick a niche and put your skills to the test.

So that’s what I’m doing. Not to prove a point, but because that’s where the profit is, my friends, and mama is turning over a new leaf in 2010. How much money can I make without having a client to answer to.

I’m not going to do it for anyone else. I’m going to do it for me. Treat myself like the best. client. ever and follow my own directions to the letter – and it’s going to rock.

Honestly, I’ve given away so much free advice in the last few years it could fill a book. A book I don’t want to write and that will become outdated too quickly. But, I will continue to give out advice to people who ask for it that probably have no idea that I’m handing them something that could change their lives.

But this year? It’s time to:

• Double the savings account.
• Pay off the student loans.
• Start working on paying off the house.

Standing in the way of my success for those plans?

• Me. (More specifically, my utter lack of consistent focus.)

I am my only hurdle.

Okay, me and the really loud kids I have. Sometimes I swear if the two older ones aren’t being loud the baby is crying. That hurts focus. But I will find a workaround.

I’m determined.

I’ve picked a few niches, some new, some old…all are totally unlike any from anyone else I know that has niche sites so we’re not double dipping or competing against each other…and I’m going to start writing tomorrow.

It is, in fact, game on like Donkey Kong.

Today is the first day in three FULL days I’m starting to feel better. Thank goodness because I have a “breakfast with the girls” to attend this morning.

I’m going to eat a muffin and have coffee – more solid food than I’ve had in – oh, how long has it been now? – THREE days.

Hopefully it doesn’t kill me.

But that’s the funny thing about being on social networking sites and everywhere online and getting sick. Unless you can actually drag your butt to the computer to tell someone, no one knows.

Worse yet, even when you do say you’re sick, no one is able to grasp the severity. Are you “I have a cold” sick? Are you “ZOMG PLAGUE” sick? Or are you “Mental health day” sick?

I sort of wanted a webcam site like the cute little Shiba Inu puppies have to show people I couldn’t get out of bed except to moan and grovel my way to the bathroom.

But who would want to WATCH that?

Do you work from home? How do you call off sick for a few days when your body has decided it isn’t going to work for a while?

Even better, if you don’t have any pressing engagements or deadlines – do you need to answer the phone and let your friends know you’re sick? Do you call off friendships like work?

Because doesn’t ignoring your friends usually get taken in a “you’re mad” way rather than a “you’re sick” way?

If I’m not making sense…yeah, you know…it’s because I’m sick.