Dear Virginia, Managing Director of Birthing From Within – What Happened?

So I wrote a post on my somewhat kind of awful experience with part of a Birthing from Within class over here.

When I received this response in my comments I was really excited.

Hi Jennifer,

As Managing Director of Birthing From Within, I am concerned that you have not had positive experience with one of our classes/teachers.

Email me directly, as I’m interested to know more about the situation.

And all the best for your upcoming birth.
~Virginia

I thought, “Hey, I can find out if this was just me or if I was the wrong type of person for the class!”

So I emailed her on June 19th…

Hi Virginia!

While I was kind of emotional when I wrote the post, I hope I did try – in some way – to make it clear that it might just be me.

While it was a very negative experience for both my husband and I, we also only attended the first three and a half hours. I still regret my husband got sick because had I gone through the whole thing there would not be a question of “maybe it would have gotten better”

Maybe it’s not normal for a woman that has already had two children to attend a class like Birthing From Within. Maybe it’s not normal for someone like me, that reads and researches things extensively online, to be part of the class. Maybe I was just being picky about how she presented birth – in what *I* felt was a very negative light.

Even though I have a lot of facts and figures in my head, I also seriously considered having my birth at The Farm, so I’m by no means not an emotional or spiritual person. I did not expect to be told my birth story was “atypical” and dismissed.

I don’t know. I hope this email and my post don’t come across as angry…even though I know that when I’m sad it tends to look a lot like anger, but that’s really all I am, sad and disappointed.

She assumed everyone in the room would have long, painful labors like she did, and I just wanted to cry. Why would you do that to them? My midwife told me later it was so the husbands could be prepared just in case.

I’d love to talk more with you about what it could be like, because from everything I read online and from what the workbook says…it really seems like something I not only was hoping to embrace and learn from, but I told my husband that I might go through the training and become an instructor afterward … because I have so much knowledge about hospital birthing and soon will have a lot on homebirthing (and possibly unassisted birth, just ask my midwife LOL) that I would love to share that birth does NOT have to be this scary wall-hitting floor-clawing experience … it MIGHT be … but it’s not a given, you know?

If you’d like to talk (I’m actually a really friendly, person, I swear) please let me know a good time for you.

I would love to know if the problem was me – that I made a mistake in choosing something that was made for someone that is not in my situation or if it really was odd for the class to happen that way. And if it’s odd that I’m supposed to pay for something where I was dismissed as being odd but still expected to help teach the other two couples what was going on. I was there to learn and grow, not teach and correct. (I hate correcting teachers – I was taught from a very young age that is an inappropriate thing to do, so it makes me uncomfortable.)

Thank you for taking the time to write, I really appreciate it :)

Surprisingly, I also don’t talk quite as much as it may seem from my lengthy writing. It’s tougher for me to explain things properly in text, so it ends up being long.

Thank you for getting this far!

Needless to say it’s July 28th and I haven’t heard back. I’m starting to think that maybe it wasn’t me, but the way the Birthing from Within organization is run.

Maybe I sounded crazy when I wrote her so she did not want to contact me. But then, why reach out?

My guess is that she was either busy and forgot, or just wanted to look like she cared by leaving a comment on the blog. Either way I am left having spent far too much time and energy worrying about something I will barely remember in a year.

It’s a shame. I had high hopes for Birthing from Within. Now? I wouldn’t recommend it to anyone. Not just for the teacher, who was not my cup of tea, but because the Managing Director doesn’t have any follow through, which makes me think that this is probably not the first or last time this will happen to someone.

Such a shame.

July 29, 2009 | Filed Under Resources, pregnancy, snake oil | 3 Comments 

Nesting and Drama (Like Chocolate and Peanut Butter…nomnomnom)

At first, I thought nesting was this thing women with nothing better to do did.

I mean, I have two preschool aged children and never, ever nested during those pregnancies. The births were fast and relatively trauma-free and I just went home and, you know, did my thing.

This time, oh wow. I don’t know if it’s because I’m cloth diapering (because we’re cheap) or because we are doing a little role-reversal in the house (Randy is primary on work and I’m primary on house) but I’m actually doing things like:

  • A load of laundry a day (ok, every other day, we don’t have enough dirty laundry in one day for a load – but after baby is born it will be diaper laundry day then non-diaper laundry day…every other day)
  • Working on Hot Spots
  • It’s been a while, but a 27-fling boogie is in the works
  • Working on Zones

I’m sure some of you already know that the system I’ve just started using is the FlyLady system. Personally, I don’t know of any other system that will tell me in my email what I’m supposed to clean and how long I’m supposed to clean it, and I need that kind of remedial attention to detail in my cleaning system.

But back to the nesting….

Randy is in the attic right now checking to see if we have the diaper holder from way back in the day as well as making a short inventory of other baby products in the attic.

There are prefolds in my washing machine being washed for the second of five times. (I just couldn’t rock the boiling because it takes my stock pot like four hours to boil and I’m lazy…sorry Becca…you are way more of a cloth diapering rock star than I am!)

I just finished reading the Green Mountain Diapers guide to cloth diapers, which you can get for free when you order anything – I highly recommend it!

I have a bin filled with everything from a cloth diaper laundry hanging bag to baby leg warmers (until that cord comes off I plan on going the T-Shirt, cloth diaper, leg warmer route for clothing…very Flashdance, no? LOL)

Oh! This isn’t really nesting but I also hired a Doula, who has a friend who is training to be an official doula, so I get a 2-for-1 doula deal. At first I thought this might be bad, but then remembered how BORING the hospital was and trying to talk to someone during labor and everyone being asleep because they induced me at midnight so I was up and chatty at 4am and everyone else was all “I want to be SLEEPING now, please!” So maybe having multiple people will be entertaining and help time pass.

If not, I can kick everyone out. Ah, the freedom of homebirth.

As for the drama, my grandmother is just….difficult. She’s improved greatly since being home from the hospital, which is GREAT (I swear!) but she doesn’t want to eat her low-potassium diet and she doesn’t believe us when we tell her she quit smoking weeks ago (because we lied) and she wants a gin & tonic kind of like you or I would want air if we were underwater.

So we’re not fun anymore. We’re the health bitches. She doesn’t like it. So she gets all excited and happy when the ne’er-do-well couple come by to start trouble and hang out and do free laundry they brought from their flea-infested trailer. (nothing but class here, people…)

Randy handed over the paperwork for their inheritance (which was wisely put outside of the estate through POD CDs – but was not wisely put with Chase, who botched it all up and put a “legal hold” on the money to the beneficiaries because they are greedy) I was mad at first, but my CD was at a different bank that gave me ZERO hassle…so I thought some more and realized I had no dog in that fight and didn’t really care how or if they got their money. It’s not my problem, and they don’t appreciate it anyway, so why stress?

There was other brief hospital drama that affected my morning but it’s nothing to blog about.

It just seems like everything is happening so fast but also dragging along at a snail’s pace. I have been having nightmares and not sleeping well, but I guess that’s to be expected right now.

I just want to get past the drama and the crap and get to the part where I can put those adorable cloth diapers on my little girl and snuggling her and focusing on breastfeeding and learning how to use a sling.

Cause I’m THAT dirty hippie. At least for a while.

Oh, other places I’ve bought stuff from recently that had FAB customer service (as did Zootie Patootie and Green Mountain Diapers)

I look forward to blogging my adventures being a brand-new cloth diaper-er as well as baby wearer and all around freakishly frugal hippie mama.

Disclaimer: None of the companies in this post gave me anything. Well – I got a discount on the Zootie Patootie legwarmers, but that’s because I had a discount code, not because I’m special or a blogger or anything :)

July 17, 2009 | Filed Under Parenting, Resources, Reviews, Work/Life Balance, pregnancy | Leave a Comment 

UltraMetabolism = UltraDisappointing Mixed Messages

Ok, so y’all probably know two things about me by now.

  1. I’m fat. I’ve still been able to slide by on my looks most of my life, but it doesn’t take away from the fact that no matter how adorable I am, I’m still a big gal.
  2. There is NO good reason for me to be fat. From confusing my midwife to confusing every-damn-body else in my life…if you look at my exercise vs. food intake ratio…it doesn’t make sense.

The only thing that most people think it could be (including doctors) is one of two things:

  1. I’m lying and have a bucket of Twinkies hiding under my bed.
  2. I’m eating so little my body is in a constant low-grade rate of starvation.

The problem with eating more is that I am having trouble doing it. I’m a picky eater and believe in only eating when I’m hungry. Since pregnancy I only eat foods with “flavor” (don’t ask, the definition of flavor changes by the minute – just ask Randy!) The bigger the baby gets, the more it pushes against my stomach and the less hungry I am.

It’s kind of a vicious cycle, really. Especially during pregnancy. I mean, I’m over 5 months pregnant and I’ve gained three pounds. Total. Since day one. So…maybe those aren’t Twinkies under my bed. *laugh*

But that doesn’t mean I’m not going to look for a way to start eating more and make sure I’m eating more of the right kind of food. So…the most recent find has been a book called UltraMetabolism. It’s by Mark Hyman, M.D. and the first chapter mentioned low-grade starvation and I was hooked!

Excited, I devoured the book (ha ha) and went out to Borders yesterday to buy the ($28!) The UltraMetabolism Cookbook. The recipes look awesome, and I’m excited to try some of them out as soon as possible!

Then I joined the UltraMetabolism online community (an online community – awesome right?!) and was so excited to find there was a whole section for recipes on the community site!

I checked out the message boards and saw something about a recipe. It was someone asking about one of the recipes posted online – it seems the recipe said to microwave some canned corn as part of an overall recipe. The person writing the question was concerned because canned veggies aren’t really ok, and neither is microwaving anything.

Some woman who I’m guessing was hired by Dr. Hyman responded that they do not check the recipes posted in the community but Dr. does not approve of canned veggies nor microwaving food.

At this point I was really confused. I mean, WHY would you have a website with recipes on it if you aren’t going to make sure they follow your plan?

Even worse … there are MULTIPLE recipes in the cookbook that call for canned veggies. WTF? So I posted a reply asking if they checked the recipes in the book, because why would the book recipes go against what is being taught?

I mean, I’m not a total stickler for any one diet plan, or we would still be vegans. But learning about whole foods and health is HARD and the last thing I need is to get confusing information or run into people who care more about their marketing than they care about their site accuracy.

It made me sad.

Oh, one other thing. I expect that on message boards there will be some advice that is off or that does not follow the plan. People are people and not everyone can be smart, right? But the recipes…those could be put up for moderation or review and then the staff or even the good Dr. could take his sweet time approving them to make sure those recipes follow the basic requirements.

People new to something need help. I certainly didn’t pay money for a book in order to find out that all the supporting materials that go with the book may or may not be accurate…and even worse…the ingredients in the actual edited book may not follow the plan.

It’s kinda bunk, if you ask me.



May 18, 2009 | Filed Under Fattie Talk, Resources, Reviews, The Everything Basket, hurting my soul, pregnancy | Leave a Comment 

Finished My Work – Taking Monday Off!

If you need anything from me, it’s going to have to wait.

Well, I have a call scheduled today at 2:30pm CST – but that’s for someone that might be able to help me with the book, I think. Not me work for them.

I finished my project last night at 6:30am, which means I finished in the morning. While I’ve become quite a fan of AP Style through the last two weeks and the last two projects, I think I’m still going to continue using a hybrid on this blog while I get the hang of it.

The weird thing is, having the AP Stylebook Online Subscription (ap.org) is not the same as having the book. I think I may need to own both. Hope I didn’t say that in my last post, I’m so tired. I got one. Count it…ONE hour of sleep last night.

If I took a nap while the kids are sleeping (aka now) I’d sleep so deeply I wouldn’t wake up when they did and then they’d take the house apart and have it in an utter shambles by the time I woke up. Not worth the trouble. Randy stayed up with me until about 4:30am to be supportive (I know, awwwww!) he only got three hours of sleep so we’ll both be going to bed old-people early tonight. Hopefully the kids comply and go to bed when we put them down.

In other news, I’m going to be having a giveaway next week on MommyBlog Reviews so stay tuned – a link is going to be going up in the menu bar to get you over to the review site. It’s still a little sparse, but I hope that the lack of eighteen-hundred posts is made up for in quality. I’m trying to write a consistent, high-quality set of reviews of products. I also have a co-blogger. I am so excited about it. Her name is Rebecca Froebe and she is a mom business owner as well. Except she has real products as opposed to my freelance writing gigs.

She’s the one that likes Jane Austen, but I decided we could be friends anyway. I’m a giver like that.

That’s about all that’s in my head right now. I’m exhausted beyond belief and am counting the hours until Randy gets home from work and we can have dinner and all go to bed and sleep the sleep of the well-worked and soon-to-be paid.

June 2, 2008 | Filed Under Blogging, Family, Parenting, Resources, Reviews, Work/Life Balance, writing | Leave a Comment 

Pingg, your invitation has arrived.

pingg-logo.pngThank you TechCrunch! As I patiently wait for my final manuscript to come back from the editor, I’ve been researching how to send out the round of e-invitations that should start the buzz-generator of party-goodness that is going to occur at a fabulous launch party in Chicago.

Of course, without the manuscript I have no idea when the party will be, so goodness only knows how this is all going to work out. You’ll never hear me say I’m an event planner! However, in the meantime I still need to have everything ready to go so I don’t bite my fingernails to the quick. (Oh, and to save time and be prepared once I do get the manuscript back.)

At first, I assumed I’d be using an Evite invitation. Sure, more often than not they end up in spam filters, but I figure that’s okay because I know most of the people on my list and can tell them to check the spam for my invite. It is true Evite’s invitations are canned-looking and difficult to customize well. Oh, and of course the piece de resistance – the part where you can’t get the details of where you’re going without clicking on your email and visiting the Evite website.

I don’t know about you but I’m just not that into going to the Evite website for every event I’m asked to attend. I want to open my email and see where I’m supposed to go. (This is usually done five minutes after I was supposed to leave, when I realize I forgot to print out directions for how to get to the event.) Needless to say, going to the evite website to get details takes about thirty more seconds than I want it to – then add to that adding the info into Mapquest, and it’s a hassle.

Of course the hassle might be worth it if the invitations were stunning. I’m always willing to compromise.

But with Pingg, I don’t have to compromise!

Beautiful designs (and you can upload your own, too!) All that lovely party invitation goodness packed right into the beautiful email that goes right into your email inbox. Pretty *and* functional, who’da guessed it was possible, right?

For an additional charge they will even send SMS invites and printed invites for really not-bad prices. Of course, I’m planning on designing my own invites and sending those out myself. But I could see that being a big selling point for someone who doesn’t want to design a postcard (or address them…even I’m dreading that portion of the program…)

So now I just have to make sure my book cover really looks phenomenal, because it’s going to be the main image for the party invitation.

Yes, I’m into the branding thing, how did you guess? If you’re not on the list yet, sign up over there in the upper left-hand corner. I’m not spammy, I’m actually quite fun…and you’ll get a discount code when the book Non-Toxic Networking is released!
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February 25, 2008 | Filed Under Branding, Buzz, Free Stuff, Networking, Non-Toxic Networking, Online Marketing, Resources, The Everything Basket | Leave a Comment 

Don’t be shocked, I’m a parent now and then

I have all of these open windows on my computer, and I really want to write about a lot of things.

But I have a birthday party to attend AND the Superbowl to watch.

In order to get my book done, we postponed my daughters’ birthdays (the apostrophe isn’t placed incorrectly, I have two daughters and they both have January birthdays) to this weekend. Hubby’s family yesterday and my family today.

We picked it that way because my family will be watching the Superbowl, his family…not so much.

So, in order to be a less crappy parent, I’m going to give you the links to the things I’ve been wanting to write about and you, dear reader, can write about them on your blog. Come back and give me the link in the comments section and I promise that I will not only read what you wrote, but I’ll say something fun and pithy in your comments section as well.

It’s the best I can do, there’s a birthday cake in the car that I need to take over to gramma’s house so we can all sing to the now 2 and 3 year old girls – their love of cake is an amazing, beautiful, almost scary thing to witness.

    Now that I think about it, this might just be my first mashup. I try very hard not to just throw links out there without having an opinion (because I always have an opinion!) Once in a while, though, I’m actually a halfway decent mom.

    Go figure.

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    February 3, 2008 | Filed Under Blogging, Buzz, Current Events, Online Marketing, Resources, The Everything Basket | 1 Comment 

    Using Google as a Personal Knowledge Manager

    Steve Rubel of Micro Persuasion has a great blog post about using Google Reader as a content management tool.

    I may need to do this, because my bloglines account is huge and unwieldy. I know if I go in there I’m going to be there for at least a solid hour or two, possibly more. This, in turn, keeps me from visiting bloglines.

    A vicious cycle.

    Many people have told me how super-cool Google Reader is, and I plan on taking Mr. Rubel’s advice and making it my new personal knowledge database.

    There is no way I could sum up all of the tips he lists in just this post in any detail without being an evil plagarist…so go there now and check it out!

    If you do not, you will meet with my mighty shuriken! (If you don’t know what that is, you’ll just have to go to the blog entry…)

    January 2, 2008 | Filed Under Blogging, Free Stuff, Resources, The Everything Basket | Leave a Comment 

    Thank you Sexy Widget

    After the whirlwind that was tweaking and uploading the new blog, I realized I’d forgotten to put the whole social media aspect into place. So I proudly debut the (currently very small) list on the right of where you can link to me online.

    I started with Technorati (duh) and then moved on to LinkedIn. My other webpage has a link with an image that I just took off of the LinkedIn website and then coded it myself. But I knew there had to be a way to find a widget. I mean, how could LinkedIn not provide a widget when I’ve seen so many – even on the most awful sites where you know the website was hand coded by a color blind infant.

    After about ten minutes on LinkedIn I decided to Google™ it!

    The first entry was from a website called Sexy Widget. I immediately went over, because part of me wanted this LinkedIn widget and another part of me wondered if there were naked widgets over there. Or at least a widget in a speedo. (Of course my biggest curiosity point was trying to comprehend an entire blog about widgets!) But the site, I assure you, is clean and rated PG – it also has some great information on widgets – including where to find the LinkedIn widget

    It was only later that I discovered that the entry point into the widget configuration tool was located on the “Edit My Public Profile” tab.

    Even with this completely clear explanation it took me another five minutes to find it. On that page.

    Bad form, LinkedIn, but at least Sexy Widget gave me what I desired and you can now link to me via my official LinkedIn widget.

    Whew.

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    December 20, 2007 | Filed Under Blogging, Resources, The Everything Basket | Leave a Comment 

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