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Yep – I’m a Joiner!
A Woman Walks Into A Funeral…
Ok, I originally thought that sounded like the beginning to a bad joke. You know, like, “A man walks into a bar” or something similar.
But it’s not.
I think the strangest thing about last night’s funeral is that I felt like I somehow stumbled into the wrong one. Seriously. They were describing this person. The “open mic” portion of the eulogy saw person after person after person (about 10 in all) go up and espouse on the virtues and kindness and loving nature of this person. The word that kept coming up was “sweet” or “sweetheart.”
The closest I could come was that most of these people knew him after I did.
Well, no, that’s not entirely true.
There were a group that knew him way before I did too.
Only one guy within an eight year period of me knowing him.
…and I had no idea who they were talking about.
I shook the cobwebs of my brain loose to sift through everything I knew about him looking, searching for those kind adjectives. Trying to find one instance of this person I kept hearing about. All the memory archives came up blank.
So…I was at a stranger’s funeral. A sweet, kind, loving stranger who wrote letters and notes and sent clippings to, it seemed, hundreds of people while calmly and patiently collecting his collectibles and enjoying his hobbies. A sweet, simple, down-to-earth man. One that would be sorely missed by so many.
Then…a glimmer…one of the speakers mentioned his mother – in her 80’s at the time – raking the leaves in front of the house they shared. “A-ha!” I said to myself. “Here it is, then. One sentence in a whole funeral that refers to the man I came to mourn.”
The one that made me believe that inside of that closed baby-blue casket was the man I remembered.
Well, that and the whole Chaucer middle-english thing. That was a dead giveaway.
No pun intended.
My Political Ignorance
I keep watching the coverage on different channels and on different social networks and different websites – conservatives are crazy, liberals are sheep. They keep throwing insults and blame and barbs back and forth, back and forth.
Truly, I’ve come to believe that no one even wants to have a conversation about anything. Everyone just wants to say what they think and end it with blaming the “other side” (the “baaaad side”) for what’s wrong.
Now, it is entirely possible I am ignorant and these are the ravings of a madwoman, but here’s what I see as the problem.
People who decide to be politicians as a career choice are a … certain type of people. People who are living at the whim of large groups of other people. Who have chosen to succeed and thrive in a system that is basically a big-ass popularity contest. Not just one popularity contest, either. Multiple popularity contests every few years.
So, it seems to me that the best way to keep your job is to not piss anyone off.
That means not tackling big issues unless absolutely necessary. Big issues mean divided people. Divided people can’t be counted on to vote the way you want them to next time you are up for re-election.
As long as liberals and conservatives pretend the problem is one another, it will keep people divided.
Don’t get me wrong – I understand some issues will always keep people apart. Abortion, the death-penalty, the environment. But these are not cut-and-dry liberal/conservative issues. Not even a little bit.
For example: I’m so tired of hearing people say – with utter conviction – conservatives don’t care about the environment. But that just. isn’t. true. Most conservatives like hunting – if the environment goes to crap and the water poisons everything…WHAT WILL THEY HUNT? Hate the NRA all you want, but those people want the environment to stay awesome.
Mixing everyone into a pot and slapping one label on it does no one any good.
Another example: I’m sick of hearing people say all liberals are crazy lemmings that want everyone to have abortions. I know anti-choice liberals (more than a few) and I know that many, many more people have no idea what a late-term abortion even requires, by law. It’s unfair to say liberals don’t care about the war now that health care is the issue du jour. Liberals are no more unintelligent or uninformed (or intelligent and informed, whatever) than conservatives. People do not stop being people based on their political views.
While there are extremes of people who fit perfectly into the “liberal” and “conservative” molds, to assume that is where most of the bell curve lives is making a horrible, terrible mistake.
To spout your political views AT people, instead of having conversations, is never going to convert anyone to your point of view except those that already agree – which just makes you another politician speaking from your altar on-high to people who are already converted to your religion.
Which makes me sad. Because there are SO many people who are open to listening, if only people would speak slowly and clearly and without malice. Also, without name calling.
The big problem is that no matter what we believe as a group, we have to go through the political gatekeepers. That means no matter how much you care, you can’t do a damn thing about it unless you can make a big enough fuss that it makes it more of a risk NOT to do something than to do something. Maybe politicians run on potential energy, because it always feels to me that a politician is an object at rest wanting to stay at rest.
There Need to be Less People Following Me On Twitter
You may be one of the people that don’t want to follow me anymore.
It’s okay, we can part as friends (or at least acquaintances) I won’t hold it against you.
Here is what I’m not:
- Internet marketer
- PR person
- Coach
- Social Media expert
Here is what I am:
- A writer
- A people watcher
- A computer lover since 1988
- A great in-person networker and speaker
While I may use some of the techniques in my "what I’m not" list that might make you mistake me for someone who sells those services, they are not how I define myself. As such, I do not want to be part of discussions on how many links to leave in comments. You know why? Because links in comments are spammy. Seriously, if your blog or business marketing strategy sucks so hard that you have to put links in people’s comments section beyond the URL link…you need to go talk to @remarkablogger and get some honest help that won’t make you an asshat spammer.
Recently I had to unsubscribe from a PR lady’s email list (Not @shannoncherry) because her second email was some sales pitch from a stranger and it was not only spammy, but totally creepy too. I only knew her from Twitter and I thought (hell, let’s be honest I hoped) she sounded like she really knew what she was doing. Yes I double-opted-in to be part of the list. I made a huge mistake and since unsubscribing haven’t received anything else, so at least there’s that.
I want a Twitter stream filled with real conversation and links that are interesting. I love blog post links in my Twitstream, LOVE them – they remind me sometimes that I haven’t checked my RSS reader in a few days and need to play some catch-up with some great reads online.
But I’m sick of hearing about the Kmart scandal, the Motrin thing wasn’t offensive, and maybe 1400 people is too many for one stream. I don’t know.
Not a huge fan of hearing about baby secretions (or adult secretions) but I’ll take them over worthless conversations taking place on social media about how to promote and market on social media. That’s like going to an MLM meeting to talk about direct sales – yeah people do it, but good luck proving what works…everyone talks big because they need to show off the plumage and prove their worth.
I’ll give you the answer to selling using social media: You sell the same everywhere. If your strategy doesn’t work everywhere, chances are, it’s the wrong strategy for you or your product or service in the first place. It’s just easier to see the flaws while working in the social media space.
Simple, right?
What I do know is that I’m sick of holding back and playing nice. Maybe I’ll lose all my followers on Twitter and connections on Facebook.
Maybe it will be worth it. If I’m going to go down, at least it will be in a blaze of glory and honesty instead of meekly resigning myself to reading hacks who are trying to tell me how to make money online or sell more stuff now that they’ve got some Twitter credibility and want to monetize it sooner rather than later.
Now to have fun walking the fine line of honesty with a dash of kindness. You didn’t think I was just going to be snarky and mean now, did you? LOL
One other thing – for those of you working from home or running small businesses – please know that just because someone has a snazzy Twitter page and talks pretty and implies they make money doing what they do that does not mean they have two nickels to rub together. Remember all these sites are free to join and participate in. Before paying for a book, or teleseminar, or anything else…do your homework.
Why Social Media Experts are Like Doctors
Not doctors you can go see today. Oh no. I’m talking about doctors with leeches and bloodletting and humours. Is that how it’s spelled? Humors maybe?
There were some doctors that slaved away over cadavers and test subjects while others went out and told people they knew exactly what they were doing and broke out the knives for bloodletting. Who got rich, and who helped us get to the place we’re at today where we don’t cut someone’s vein open if they have the flu. Exactly. Experts are in it for the short-term capital gain while the researchers and studiers are in it for the long-term improvement of the system.
Yes, leeches have been shown to be helpful in some cases (such as getting icky blood out of reattached limbs, etc.) but not for everything, and that’s the problem.
When I hear companies tell me they’ve found a social media expert and he knows this and knows that and blah blah blah – I don’t hear anything beyond expert.
How can you be an expert in something that isn’t complete or even easily defined?
I mean, social media is changing and growing day by day, the only thing that is still the same is that it is, at its core, groups of people interacting. So…aren’t the only true experts the experts of human nature psychologists?
Which always makes me wonder why more marketers don’t have degrees in psychology. It would make sense to get up close and personal with human nature if you’re going to be in the business of selling them stuff. While I don’t have a degree in psychology (look and gaze in wonder at my transparency and authenticity) I took a bunch of psych classes and it’s mostly common sense.
But common sense, as we have all heard, isn’t common. So why are there so many experts?
In other news, I’m starting to wonder if Twitter is just a big job board and someone forgot to tell me. I keep seeing backgrounds change based on people’s new jobs with corporations. Bully for them, I’m not judging…just noticing.
