What’s a girl to do?

Land squarely in the middle, I guess.

I take vitamins for the things that scare me (Lutein for eyesight, for example) and leave the rest alone. I do . . . → Read More: I Fear Over-vitamin-ing is Occuring.]]> There are documentaries that tell me vitamins are worthless, and others that tell me vitamins are essential and can cure cancer.

What’s a girl to do?

Land squarely in the middle, I guess.

I take vitamins for the things that scare me (Lutein for eyesight, for example) and leave the rest alone. I do take a multivitamin, too, because it seems like a good idea.

My “just the tip of the iceberg” brings me to a solid intake of 6 vitamins a day. Which seems like a lot, but not compared to that one guy I saw on the Obsessed show where he obsessive-compulsively took a metric ton of vitamins a day. Of course, since I don’t have OCD it may be an unfair comparison to say, “Hey, I’m doing great next to the guy that needs exposure therapy!”

But even if it’s just the placebo effect that makes me feel better, I feel better taking vitamins than I do taking pharmaceuticals whenever possible. They seem more…safe. Or less dangerous. Which are two different measurement scales, in my mind.

Whatever. I’m sick and I need a boost or I’ll NEVER get through my math homework. Math requires clarity and focus and I have the sniffles and aches and pains. The aches and pains are more from slipping on the ice two nights ago and landing flat on my back (my glasses flew off my face and behind me a couple feet) and not the stupid cold that won’t just go away.

Or maybe if I can convince myself I’m too sick to work I can crack open the red blend I got from the store the other day and see how it tastes. It’s called Apothic Red and looks cool as all-get-out. In addition to my two bottles of Chateau Ste. Michelle (also known as the “grown ups boones farm” for those in the know) I could forget all about being sick.

Hey just because I want to drink three bottles of wine and pretend it will work the same as NyQuil, I will probably have one glass. But a girl can pretend, right?

Where do you fall on the vitamin spectrum? Do you take a multivitamin? Do you skip them entirely? Or do you have a selection of Greatest Hits that you stock up on when they go on sale at the drugstore?

So what’s a smart girl to do?

Go to the vitamin section and start rocking out with the muscle-building vitamins. Enter Co Q-10. I have heard everyone from my doctor to my pharmacist to random people who’ve seen me limp in public recommend . . . → Read More: Ankle Part Seven-Thousand: Vitamins and Atkins]]> I’m thinking I could use a little extra help healing, right?

So what’s a smart girl to do?

Go to the vitamin section and start rocking out with the muscle-building vitamins. Enter Co Q-10. I have heard everyone from my doctor to my pharmacist to random people who’ve seen me limp in public recommend it. I took it when I was pregnant (maybe that’s why D is the Mack Truck of babies) and realized I wanted to start taking it again. At $45 a bottle I was lucky it was buy one get one free at Walgreen’s or I would have cried buying it. Of course, that $45 bottle was the 200mg that will last me three months. So with the buy one get one I spent $45 for six months of Co-Q-10. Also it has something to do with mitochondria – and if there’s one thing I learned from Parasite Eve, it’s that the mitochondria are VERY important to keep happy and healthy so you don’t spontaneously burst into flames. (That was for you, two people who’ve played that video game…all for you…)

So. Much. Awesome.

So I’m braced, looking out for my mitochondria, and doing other stuff like propping it up to keep my ankle from getting any worse and, hopefully, maybe even helping to speed my recovery.

In that same vein, I’ve been reading about food intake and this and that and almost bought something else at Walgreen’s last night but didn’t because I was scared of it. HGC. I don’t know what the hell it is but I read like three books over the last week that talked about it being essential for your hypothalamus in order to be all, “Oh hai you’re not supposed to hold onto all that fat!” Because even though I’m eating less and losing weight it doesn’t seem healthy that I’m eating less than my kids. No, really. They eat good kid amounts of food. I eat less. Than a 40 pound child.

F that. Seriously. That CANNOT be right. I’m not sedentary, either, but EVEN IF I WAS eating less than a child is screaming that there is another explanation for the issue. So after reading and reading and reading and checking out struggling people, successful people, people who used to be successful but now aren’t and people who have succeeded after a diet relapse. I’m going on the New Atkins program.

Because NEW Atkins has you eating veggies from day one. Which means it’s not insane like OLD Atkins. Plus lean meat is not discouraged and if you have very lean meat you need to balance it with fat in the form of “a pat of butter or a tablespoon of olive oil” – I’m pretty sure we can all agree that’s not going to make you a beast in a mumu. Three meals, two snacks, 4-6oz. of protein in each meal and … I don’t remember what the snack guidance was. But 20 carbs a day and 15 of those carbs are from veggies. Plus, there are zero carb veggies, so eat up leafy green lovers! I’m a leafy green lover and that’s what kept me away from Atkins since I did it like 10 years ago – I couldn’t NOT eat salad. Eating salad = FAIL also makes NO sense. I’m done eating in a way that makes no sense. Oh, and F the food pyramid, too. Something is wrong with that, too, I just can’t put my finger on what.

Plus the extra protein from New Atkins will help me not F up my muscle in my ankle any more than it is right now.

I really don’t want to limp forever if I can avoid that, kwim?

Cynthia Sass (Twitter – Facebook – Website) . . . → Read More: Cinch!: Conquer Cravings, Drop Pounds and Lose Inches! (review)]]> If you’re looking for an expert with a bestseller already under her belt to tell you how to lose weight and keep it off without cravings or endless agony, Cinch!: Conquer Cravings, Drop Pounds and Lose Inches! will be a great book to add to your library!

Cynthia Sass (Twitter – Facebook – Website) is the author of Cinch! but is also well-known for her previous bestseller, the “Flat Belly Diet.” The new book brings her knowledge and experience to a new 30-day program that’s good for any lifestyle!

The goals of Cinch! are both simple and complex:

End Overeating

Yep. That’s it. Told you it was simple and complicated all at the same time!

Cynthia and her research have come to the conclusion that the best way to get to the place where you just don’t overeat anymore is to balance how you combine your food at each meal. The combination can either leave you feeling bloated and unsatisfied or, by following Cinch!, you can end your meals feeling full and satisfied and as a bonus of choosing the right foods you will also rock your metabolism and burn fat.

It’s not just a 30-day plan, either. It starts with the 5-day Fast Forward plan. The Fast Forward plan gets your erratic eating in check by focusing on five simple foods. A diet for omnivores and vegans alike, the first 5 days of the plan should see you at up to 8 pounds of weight loss. That’s because the five foods are low in calories but packed with nutrients and natural hunger-fighters that keep you feeling full longer while getting those junk foods out of your everyday diet.

All the meals in Cinch! are created for you and are fully interchangeable. Vegan and vegetarian options are covered as well.

This is a diet for everyone (that has talked to a health care professional to make sure they can go on a diet at all, no jumping in without making sure you’re healthy enough to go on a calorie-restricted diet!) written by a professional that is the weight loss blogger for Shape magazine and knows what she’s talking about.

Cinch is available at these online retailers – so no matter where you like to shop there’s a store for you:

• Amazon: http://amzn.to/o2oCinch
• Barnes & Noble: http://bit.ly/CinchBN
• Borders: http://bit.ly/CinchBrdrs
• IndieBound: http://bit.ly/CinchIndie

Disclaimer: This review included me actually reading the book and thinking it makes good sense for people who want to follow a calorie-restricted diet while eating foods in certain combination in order to increase the feelings of fullness. I received the book for free and the opportunity was given to me through the One2One Network.

But since last night when I almost fell over in the bookstore, I decided it was time to bring in reinforcements for my poor ankle that does not seem to want to heal. I mean, it does when . . . → Read More: Does This Ankle Brace Make Me Look Fat?]]> Just kidding – it lives under my pants, how could it make me look anything, really?

But since last night when I almost fell over in the bookstore, I decided it was time to bring in reinforcements for my poor ankle that does not seem to want to heal. I mean, it does when I’m in warm areas and don’t move or put any pressure on it – then it’s fine – so much so it’s easy to forget when I stand up that there’s a problem and it leaves me yelping before I think maybe public places are not yelp-appropriate.

So J and I went to Walgreen’s and hit up the “old people” aisle. The one we all know we’re going to do a LOT of shopping in the older we get. I don’t mean it in a derogatory way at all, but you generally don’t see a bunch of teens or 20-somethings hanging out in the cane and bedpan aisle all, “What’s up, dude? Where you been? Over by the cologne? That is SO last year, this year is shower seats and heating pads, yo!” Yeah, all the rage.

The problem is I have this huge instep. My foot is rounded on top. It’s not a pile of fat, but it has made shoe shopping kind of an abomination since I was old enough to realize there was a store full of shoes and about three pairs would fit me. That is some serious frustration.

So J suggested trying on the ankle braces. I was all, “Oh hey, this isn’t a shoe store!” and she was all, “You really want to buy them all and return the ones that don’t work JUST so you can try them on at home instead of in the aisle at Walgreen’s? What? Don’t want to be judged?” Which made me realize I was just being silly and the trying-on began.

Four ankle braces later and we put the one on I’m wearing now. It’s lightweight, easy to put on, fits into my shoe, and is black. All things that will help me mask it under my black pants, in my black shoes, over my black socks. It does have a little white tag on the front and I’ve been staring at my black Sharpie all morning wondering if it would look better if I colored the tag or cut it off.

I also (finally) bought new sneakers. I have a pair of amazing running shoes, but they adjust for my very slight pronation so they KILL to wear with the owie ankle. My regular walking shoes have insoles in them because I’ve had them for three years and wore them the heck out. This was before I was informed that you’re only supposed to wear sneakers about six months or 400 miles or something because they wear out – just like anything else you use almost every single day. (That was a serious “duh” moment on my part.) While I was at the store (It’s a store I hate more than anything but they have the best shoe selection for my awesome size 11 feet) I also ran across an adorable pair of black flats so had to pick them up, too. I don’t shoe shop often and if I told you how long ago I got my current pair (yes, that’s singular, did I mention I hate shoe shopping?) of black flats you’d probably cringe.

So now I’m the proud owner of two pairs of black flats (well one has a quarter-inch heel, but isn’t that splitting hairs?) and a new pair of gym shoes to walk from the train to work. Plus an ankle brace to help me get to work without crying, which will be a big plus this week.

Next post? The vitamins I bought. Oh yeah, I’m going to heal this ankle if it kills me. Oh, and Atkins. Yeah, the new one. It’s different than the old one, I promise.

“I don’t want to be forced to choose veggies. I do NOT like veggies or . . . → Read More: A New Weight Watchers? This Just Might Work!]]> I can only imagine how hard it must be for some people seeing the new points system that nudges them toward healthy choices, a woman is quoted in the New York Times as saying on the online message board,

“I don’t want to be forced to choose veggies. I do NOT like veggies or fruit,” one member wrote in an online discussion on the Weight Watchers Web site. “I feel like I am being forced to ‘diet,’ and that is what I DO NOT WANT.”

You know what? Disliking things that are healthy for you and wanting to eat diet foods that are processed and canned and have nitrates? Cry me a river. Seriously. If you want to put snickers bars in your gas tank, you can, but it will ruin the car. Why do you think you can do the same to your body – put crap into it – and not be breaking it?

When someone tells me they don’t like fruits and veggies, I hear, “I don’t want to give my body the fuel it needs.” I then stop caring about their weight loss sorrows. Because I don’t like whole grain pasta. So I don’t eat any pasta except for a very small side dish when my husband makes it for the kids. If I can’t find a replacement for white-four-based pasta and I don’t like whole grain pasta – it’s bye bye pasta altogether. I don’t say “I don’t like it” and continue to eat bowls and bowls of the regular pasta.

I mean, how entitled is that? Other people would love access to veggies, fresh OR frozen, and there are actually people that are angry because most fruits and veggies now have zero points.

Anyone who can’t understand why an orange is zero points and 8oz. of orange juice is 3 points needs to do more research on nutrition. Joining Weight Watchers is not a substitute for learning and knowledge. It is there to help.

And I’m really excited about the new points system. It makes sense to me. It may, upon closer inspection, be the way people are actually supposed to eat for running an efficient, well-tuned body. At least the food aspect!

So I, who have never even considered joining Weight Watchers before, who thought the point system was screwed up and did not promote health – just might be changing my tune. I need to see more information to make a real decision and figure out if I’m going to join or not, but if it can help me reach my goal, I’ll be joining.

No matter what I do, I think Weight Watchers should be applauded for being willing to make this change to a system that has become entrenched in brains of so many women. It’s a risky move. Really. I know a few people that know the point values for EVERYTHING and now that’s going to change. It could alienate those women.

But it will bring in many more women who have a goal of health. Not just eating gross processed diet foods and not caring about what those things do to our bodies. It will work with my lifestyle.

Gosh, I guess I’m more excited to learn more about the new Weight Watchers PointsPlus plan than I originally thought! But, that being said, I need a food scale. I’d ask my husband to get me one for Christmas, but then I’d kill him if he really did. I mean, who wants a food scale for Christmas from their skinny-minnie husband? LOL Between that and wanting HeavyWeight Yogaand a fitbook(or a FLogg) I seriously could make myself the most amazing gift basket. It would rock SO hard. The ultimate healthy love-yourself gift basket.

Maybe I’ll make one and find someone to give it to as a way of giving this holiday season. Because I’m doing a pretty good job releasing weight and you know what, I’m going to continue to do so by staying away from judgement and drama and feelings of my achievements not being good enough. Especially important with the sprained ankle and the number one reason I’m looking to get the yoga dvd. I could modify to keep pressure off of my ankle, I think.

Disclaimer: While I'd love to do an in-depth sponsored review of the new
Weight Watchers PointsPlus plan and will probably add it to my PR Wish
List (if I remember) this is not a sponsored post. The amazon links to
stuff I love are affiliate links so I might make like five cents if you
buy something through one of the links.

… wait for it, this is gonna sound . . . → Read More: Quick But Important Weight Loss Update]]> After my utter frustration at gaining a pound one of the three days after my surgery where I did not eat any food (solid or otherwise) and only had 2-3 sips of water during the day due to the horrible nausea, I decided to just …

… wait for it, this is gonna sound stupid …

…RELEASE IT!

Ok, I know you’re thinking I’m full of s**t and you can’t just release weight. But you know what, that mind over matter thing has been proven several times so having your mind right is never a bad plan in relation to anything you may do with your life.

So (I hear you asking while trying not to smirk openly at me) how do you release the weight? Or, better, why do you need to release it in the first place?

I got really caught up in being the healthy fat girl that I don’t know any other way to be. I don’t want to be thinner because then people will feel even more comfortable uttering hateful things about others when I’m there. I want to exist as an exception to the rule so people realize that the obesity crisis isn’t a whole bunch of strange, shadowy people huffing twinkie goo and being lazy, it’s your friends – your mothers – your fathers – your children – who need love and attention, not shaming and mandatory weigh-ins.

To try and teach people to fight with love and see people as individuals, not as a measure of their fat cells.

But you know what, people – you haven’t done a whole hell of a lot to further the cause, and I feel like I’m just alone in the wilderness out here.

Screw this. I’m losing weight and we’re all going to just pretend I was never the chick you couldn’t figure out why she was fat because she ate less than you. Now I’ll just be the chick who is, of course, not fat because she eats less than everyone else.

Be free, fat. I don’t need you anymore. I love myself regardless of what I look like. I will still be me and amazing and lovable and full of life even if I weigh less than I do now.

I’m going to light a candle and meditate on it tonight.

Think I’m being airy-fairy? I have a middle finger right here that would like to argue with you. Because you know what, I don’t care what you think. If this works, you’re going to feel salty as HELL.

Just sayin’

Oh, the catalyst for this whole thing was the realization that, for the first time in years and years, I don’t have 100+ lbs to lose. I’m finally under three digits in the “I want to lose” category! WooHOO!

This morning started at 5am.

So it feels like mid afternoon and we haven’t even hit noon yet.

I just want to crawl back under my covers and go to sleep but I have these little people I have to take care of and be all responsible for. Clever Girls Collective . . . → Read More: #Mamavation Monday: Can I get a Do Over please?]]>

This morning started at 5am.

So it feels like mid afternoon and we haven’t even hit noon yet.

I just want to crawl back under my covers and go to sleep but I have these little people I have to take care of and be all responsible for. Clever Girls Collective had this great “two bottles for ten dollars” wine deal and I snatched it up because…well if you need me to explain it you might just want to skip to the next paragraph, really. But I’m just hoping that today will find the universe has taken pity on me and my inability to get my kids to school today and that wine will just appear – through the magic of UPS Ground – at my front door. (I’m not sure if the deal is still going on, but if it is, I’d snatch it up. You have to pay shipping but it’s still good cheap wine delivered to your DOOR. Total win.)

My weight today is 303.6 – (down 1.2lbs from last week) but I’m SO peeved because my weight was taken after already eating breakfast and a snack and being fully dressed. I usually weigh myself not fully clothed and before eating. So who knows what the actual number is. I’m not going to weigh my pants, bra, and food to find out.

Speaking of crazy.

Has anyone started watching that awful train-wreck of a show about eating disorders What’s Eating You? I mean, it’s kind of on the same Intervention, Obsession track where you get introduced to someone, you’re shown all their dirty little secrets and the skeletons in the far reaches of their closets – then they show them playing with food and/or puking depending on the disorder – and then there’s a ten-week montage and you get the final update in white text on a black background to let you know where they are right before the show airs.

And we wonder why patience is at such a premium. Ten weeks in an hour. I’m surprised we don’t all think people can just change overnight.

But I alternate between being horrified and thinking of it as a “tips and tricks to successful weight loss” show. When I feel horrified I hate myself just a little because I should be watching something uplifting or reading a book or saving lives…but then if I mentally slip into “tips and tricks” mode, I hate myself just a little because really I shouldn’t be doing that and my 1-2lbs a week is just fine thankyouverymuch and really I’m not going to follow in the footsteps of someone with arms that look like a praying mantis anyway. But sometimes, sometimes…. yeah. Just sometimes.

Plus, if I stopped eating except for a cracker and a sliver of celery every day I’d lose weight really fast and then look like one of those hangy-skin dogs and until I have about 6k for plastic surgery I’m not doing anything that will cause me to look like a sharpei. Is that how it’s spelled? I mean, if I lost 100lbs in a year I’d look like a flying squirrel when I raised my arms up.

Very handy if I lived in a tree – or slept in one – but I’m evolved and sleep in a bed and walk on the ground.

Did I exercise this week? Yes. Did I eat healthy this week? Yes.

Do I have any idea how to correlate what I eat with  my weight? NO. I haven’t found any rules that consistently apply to my body. Foods my body retains more easily, weight gain after eating X, Y, or Z. Nothing works for more than a few days and then it all goes haywire again. From three servings of dairy to my dietary plan from being a Mamavation Mom to making sure not to eat after 6pm to drinking a big glass of water (32oz) before each meal. Plus some others I can’t remember off the top of my head right now.

It’s taking TOO MUCH of my time and I truly have better things to worry about. So I’m just going to do how I do and track it and keep eating the healthy food in my house and do portions and leave the rest of it alone. What that means is I’m going back to the original nutrition plan that worked great but I felt wasn’t good enough because it only produced those 1-2lb. weekly results.

Whatever. I’ll get there eventually. It’s going in the right direction. I don’t mind the weighing, I don’t mind the eating, I don’t mind the portions, I don’t mind the exercise. I just don’t want to think about it beyond those basic parameters. I want to concentrate on getting my 4.0 that I want. I have less than 8 weeks to make it happen. We’re on the other side of the middle and it’s all downhill. I have to make this all count so I can transfer – maybe even into the Honors College program. It’s possible right now. That’s what I want to focus my energy on.

I’m having my surgery on Nov 4th, so I’ll be taking a week off after that from weighing or anything because I have to, you know, heal from major abdominal surgery and stuff. I’ll still be here next Monday, it’s the Monday after I’ll be totes MIA.

There are some fabulous blogs that deal with health, yes, but for too many people it’s all tied in together with skinny. With society. With acceptable levels of fat or size or measurements.

Sure, I have my moments where I wake up and . . . → Read More: If You Need to Feel Good, Stop Talking S**t About Yourself]]> The problem with the healthy blogging community is that it’s not.

There are some fabulous blogs that deal with health, yes, but for too many people it’s all tied in together with skinny. With society. With acceptable levels of fat or size or measurements.

Sure, I have my moments where I wake up and want to cry because there is fat where my flat tummy used to be. I’ve never been thin, but I’ve never had a “gut” – that was always my benchmark that made me feel beautiful. Even overweight, I had a waist and it thrilled me. But now, even though I weigh pretty much what I did before getting pregnant with my first daughter, I’m shaped differently and because I’m the same weight but a different shape (from being all stretched out from having big ol’ babies) I get to hear people tell me I’m at risk for CERTAIN DEATH. Ok, just kidding. Not certain death…just heart disease and a slew of other fattie diseases.

It leaves a sour taste in my mouth. I’m being told that having three children and the natural changes my body made during that time have increased my risk for heart attacks, disease, and death. Because if I weigh the same amount and it’s my waist that makes all the difference…it has to be the pregnancies that are the underlying cause of my now imminent heart disease.

But I don’t remember reading any studies on that.

Also, seeing health “experts” on Twitter that talk about eating half of what you want to have what you want in life…that’s eating disorder talk, period. Because it assumes that in EVERY CASE the amount of food is the problem and not the type of food. It’s an easy solution to a problem that may or may not exist.

People using cute word games and making random guesses as to what thousands of people are doing at their dinner tables is … offensive.

Until you learn how to talk to your body with love and understanding. Until you stop seeing your body as your enemy…the enemy that keeps you from the things you desire: love, trust, happiness, a good job, WHATEVER you want. Until you can forgive your body – even though it has done nothing wrong. Forgive your body that keeps you here, on earth, where there are things like love and hugs and puppies and all kinds of other good things – you’ll never notice them.

What will really change for you if you are thinner?

If it will get you off of insulin or help you to walk without pain, fine, those are real, important goals that will improve your daily life.

But emotionally? I will say this a million times, but if you do not love yourself broken, you will never notice when you are who you thought you wanted to be, because if you hate your body now, you won’t know what love looks like when you reach your goal.

Be good to you. You deserve it. No matter what you look like right now.

Oh, and you know what the unexpected side bonus to loving yourself is? You’ll eat healthier because you will want to give your body the respect and love it deserves instead of dieting and limiting what you eat because you want to abuse your body into a “better” place.

It should not be stressing me out this bad.

Just found out a commute to Urbana looks more like three hours, realistically.

So…yet another school switch…hopefully the last one.

UIC – University of Illinois – Chicago . . . → Read More: Ok, Seriously, I Just Want This to be Over]]> I’m not through my first semester and I can’t seem to wrap my head around this transfer thing.

It should not be stressing me out this bad.

Just found out a commute to Urbana looks more like three hours, realistically.

So…yet another school switch…hopefully the last one.

UIC – University of Illinois – Chicago is the new and – again – hopefully last of the choice switching. I’m feeling relatively good about it, the department website is chock-FULL of yummy econ courses I’m dying to take, and I just have to make sure I take the right stuff NOW in order to transfer in where I want to be.

Which means I’ll be on the phone again tomorrow. Talking to a transfer advisor and figuring out when the right time to transfer is.

Plus, I need to get in another set of First Day to 5k tomorrow. I’m at least looking forward to that. I really want this one bike – I’m a cyclist, not a runner. I’m still reminiscing fondly about the test drive I took of the Elektra Townie at the local bike store. It was…amazing. I even downloaded the (free) iPhone app so I can look at the bikes and drool over them whenever I want.

The app reminds me I’m working toward something. Because if I can get my butt under 300lbs. – I get so close and then pop up a couple pounds for no discernible reason, I mean, you’ve seen my fridge – that bike is going to be my reward.

I can’t get it out of my head. It haunts me. The wind through my hair, my legs pedaling … it’s pure bliss, man. Pure bliss.