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Yep – I’m a Joiner!
I Only Have A Minute or Two
Before going back to trying to balance the kids and an absolute buttload of work that I have to do today.
My baby has been so fussy since she got her vaccination, and I feel bad for her. I’m not anti-vax … I’m pro-delayed-vax. I schedule only the necessary vaxes and then space them out so we never get more than one shot at a time and also make sure that all the vaxes she does get are made with dead viruses.
Makes you hungry just thinking about dead viruses, right?
On the bright side, my doctor is 100% on board with my strategy. Too bad the medical assistant is not, and always forgets who we are for the first five minutes of the visit – the five minutes where she judges us for not vaccinating according to schedule. I just reminded her yesterday that I sent her a Christmas card. To her HOME. That she gave me the address to. Then she was really nice again.
Funny how someone can trust you enough to give you their home address and forget you two months down the road.
Of course, the ability to make people trust you that much repeatedly is how you build a business in a recession. The check always gets handed over to the bidder with the highest trust level, because business owners want to make sure they’re going to get work done for that money.
Sometimes I think it would be easier to sell office furniture, office supplies, life insurance, or any other product rather than services – because then there is something the buyer can hold in their hands and say, “This is mine. I purchased this. With my money.” Instead of the hours that go into creating and launching campaigns.
On the bright side I’m not the one doing the work, I’m just the secretary. Just. LOL
Part of me really wants to make up a fake name like LouBelle Johnson for when I answer the phone. I won’t really do it, because that’s sleazy and untrustworthy…but couldn’t you just see me answering the phone with a southern drawl, “Good Morning and thank you for calling Marketing Curve, this is LouBelle Johnson…how may I help you today?”
I would spend the better part of every work day laughing myself into a stupor. Then I’d spend the other half scouting for leads the way I do now.
Because, yeah, there are leads involved. This is a real company y’all. There are plans for an office space in the future.
The funny thing is we’ve been working at this business for about four years now. (Started sometime in ‘05) and just recently did the opportunities start to seemingly fall in our laps. The people were receptive to the ideas and concepts, and meetings are happening. It all feels so easy this time that we’re prepared to take full advantage of what seems like the best. timing. ever. for doing a business push.
Or, at least, it seems that way.
Okay, I’ve used up my morning break and if my boss catches me blogging instead of working I might get written up. LMAO But I do have about 15 hours of work to squeeze into the next 8 hours or so.
Hope everyone is having a fabulous hump day!
I’ll Leave The House Again Someday
Still sick.
I have got to get right, I’m telling you, this is just a lingering feeling of awful that keeps me from focusing and I want to sleep it off but I’m afraid that might take a couple more weeks.
In the meantime, here’s what’s going on in Casa de G today:
- Submitting a DBA to the local county.
- Revamping and ordering business cards.
- Writing a plan to get to the people we’re targeting. (Aim…ready…LOL)
- Hounding hubby to finish his white paper and case studies (Aim…ready…NAG! haha)
It doesn’t seem like a lot, maybe, but it is a heck of a list and if I’m doing my job we’re going to get some serious traction on that white paper and those case studies. Both are very important to the new business plan. On the bright side, white papers and the like are hubby’s specialty.
You know me, I only write fun stuff. I don’t do well with dry writing. It’s not my bag.
But it’s Monday, and I’m feeling physically bad but mentally great.
It’s a new dawn, it’s a new day, yadda, yadda, yadda…the bottom line is it’s time to kick some butt.
In the meantime, if you’re in cook county, and need to download the forms to file a DBA you can go to the Cook County Clerk’s webpage to download and print a DBA form.
Back to Normal and the Economy is Not Improving
While I realize there really is no true “Normal” in anyone’s life (especially mine) there is a sense of peace when things are familiar. The baby crying isn’t a wonderful, amazing event…but it’s something I’m used to, so it doesn’t cause me any great anxiety or stress when she does cry.
My goal in life is usually to try and keep everything around me as familiar as possible. Sure, things come up and new jobs are acquired which change up everyone’s routine…those are stressful, but also exciting because who knows where those paths will lead?
One of the things I have been thinking about is the mall job I just took on – about 60 people interviewed for 7 part-time, holiday positions. I’m thinking the economy hasn’t been recovering as much as the television would have me believe.
It’s kind of scary to know that many people competed for a job that only pays a nudge above minimum wage. If I don’t need the money, does that mean I took the job from someone who may have needed it to pay rent or feed kids or something really important? It’s something I can’t know, but at the same time if I was a good enough fit to not even need an interview, maybe I shouldn’t borrow trouble or worry. I’m not the only one who got hired…maybe one of the other six took the job from the person who needed it the most.
My kitchen remodel is almost done. I’m SO excited. We got these beautiful oil-brushed bronze pull-knobs for the drawers and cabinets – they will coordinate with the light switch covers and outlet covers.
Even better? I measured the countertop and I will have five and a half feet of counter space. In a row. Usable, awesome counter space. I am going to cook like a madwoman this holiday season. Because nothing makes me want to cook like having a great place to do it – know what I mean?
Why I Love Documentaries
It was a weird morning. One of those mornings that make you realize how different and how alike you are to your spouse all at the same time.
He looked over at me from his laptop and said something about Michael Jackson – some post-mortem update.
I looked at him and asked him to watch a clip from a documentary I was watching on the actors that dress up and walk up and down Hollywood Boulevard. (If you’re curious, it’s called Confessions of a Superhero and it’s awesome and available on Hulu!)
My husband is interested in “big” things. I think this is fairly normal. Interested (not obsessed, thank goodness) in world affairs and news and the things that people are talking and writing about. Things you can flip on the news channel and see – and hear – pundits talking about and judging and reporters looking for even more information on.
I like documentaries. Especially about people.
Watching the lives of people I don’t know and learning about lifestyles I would never know existed if a filmmaker had not thought, “Hey, people should know about these people.”
I love individual stories, individual lives, and the chance to look at the world through someone else’s eyes.
It helps me feel connected to humanity, and makes me feel like I can understand people in general more deeply for having understood just a few more individuals.
Image Source: julosstock via sxc.hu
Because Running Away Would Be Cowardly
My lovely little four year old.
So independent. So stubborn. So adorable.
She decided a few days ago that she wanted to live with the neighbors. Did she pack a little snack and try to sneak away? Oh hell no. She came right up to me and said, “I’m not sure I love you anymore and want to go live with the neighbors.”
Uh…..
So, thinking I’m a Smarty McFartyPants I say, “How will you live? You need to pay rent if you live there.”
She said, “I’ll go work at McDonalds.”
Crap.
I said, “The neighbors don’t want you to live with them, they have their own family.”
She said, “You’re having another baby, mom, so families can change.” (this was said in the most condescending tone of voice you could possibly imagine)
I realize I’ve lost a battle of wits with a four-year-old.
So I sent her to bed. It was close enough to bedtime that it was a logical move, hoping she’d forget.
The next morning? She did not forget. She got dressed and asked me when she could leave.
I distracted her most of the day and later that afternoon she came up to me and said, “I decided I love you again so I’m going to stay here.”
Lucky me.
I’m having flash-forwards about how this conversation looks when she’s 14.
It’s not going to be pretty.
Kids and Dogs and Tags and Bras
My kids.
So smart and funny and interesting.
They just don’t know how lucky they are to be alive.
For the last few weeks I’ve been letting those adorable little kidlets play in the backyard.
It’s fenced and not against any sidewalks or streets. I figured what could possibly go wrong?
So when the girls came inside after playing outside in the backyard for a few hours, I didn’t think anything of it. They were done playing and came in to ask for snacks, TV, and unicorns – or whatever else it is they ask for – I try not to listen too closely.
I get a phone call from a friend and am chatting away while my kids drink water and eat granola bars (no lie!) and my call waiting beeps – from 911 dispatch – my first thought is this cannot be good…
I click over and it seems 911 has called me to let me know my dogs are somewhere other than home. I look out my kitchen window and, you guessed it, the fence was wide open.
The operator lets me know that they dispatched a squad car (how cool is that?) but since it’s only a few houses down she thought I might want to get the dogs myself. I told her yes, grabbed the leashes and ran out of the house.
Of course, this means I left two preschoolers totally unattended while I went to get the dogs. Totally a win-win situation, right? As I hustle down the road – barefoot, pregnant, and braless – I find myself hoping the dogs are still in the same place and haven’t run off to parts unknown.
Then I realize the people who have my dogs are the people who live on the corner of the next block – I’ve always wanted to see inside of the house because they have a den where my kitchen is…where is their kitchen?
I don’t get a chance to ask, because they come out and talk about how awesome and scared and sad my puppies are and how they gave them treats and love and then I went in their backyard (with only a momentary thought of “I could so be killed right now”) and put the leashes on my very happy to see me dogs and head on home, explaining that I’d love to stay and thank them more but I have two kids unattended at home.
By the time I get back to the house, my kids are (of course!) in the front yard. They see me and haul ass back into the house – as if I didn’t see them – and I bring the dogs in.
Seriously – these kids are gonna be the death of me. Or the dogs. Or themselves.
We’re looking into gate lock solutions. I suggested an invisible fence but my husband says that’s inappropriate for kids. Too bad, right?
Take Your Kids To Work Day – Consultant Style
Here is how I celebrated Take Your Kids To Work Day.
- I refused to let them nap. Mommy doesn’t get naps, why should they? (As a result, my children proceeded to whine most of the afternoon – they sound a lot like me without coffee…I didn’t give them coffee, that must be why…)
- I put on cartoons for them but used the DVR to skip through half the show. As a consultant, I never have time to watch a whole show – just give me the good bits and I’ll move on.
- By the end of the day I had them answering the phone. I may keep this in the rotation … I’ve always wanted an in-house assistant.
- We’re still working on it, but I think they’ll be able to say "soulless corporate drone" by the end of the week. They can say the words, but I need them to look down their noses and sneer knowingly when they say it.
- I thought about putting them on mommy’s pre-pregnancy diet of coffee, water, coffee, water, and a piece of string cheese sometime in the afternoon…but figured I shouldn’t actively neglect my children just to make a point about my work.
For the full effect, I should have let one or both kids onto my computer for some serious work time – but no one – I mean no one touches mama’s computer. They don’t mind. Heck, my kids aren’t even sure what I work on is a computer. I taught them to call it an ATM Machine.
We’re all going to top off our day the same. Vegging out in front of the TV trying to reclaim precious brain cells that were lost trying to figure out an illogical problem that had no solution.
Then we’ll all read and go to bed with a sense of accomplishment and exhaustion – ready to do it again tomorrow.
I wonder why they keep saying how excited they are to go to school tomorrow?
Life After People: The History Channel Was Almost Interesting
I was so excited when I saw the History channel had invaded my list of DVR programs waiting to be watched.
I know, you never thought you’d hear a non-history-major with boobs say that, didja?
But it was the premier of this new miniseries Life After People. It was a time-lapse, computer generated creation showing what would happen to the earth from 1-day after all the people disappeared to…um…I got up to 150 years before I fell asleep.
I appreciated how they addressed all the issues I wanted to know about. How soon will the puppy dogs die, are roaches really that resilient, you know…the important stuff. They also covered how the subways of New York City, all built below the water table, would become subterranean rivers – that is – until the metal posts holding the street above corroded and collapsed. Then there would be large water pits in the middle of former intersections.
When they got to the 20 years after people section, they went to the Ukraine and visited the town that Chernobyl destroyed. They basically found out that everything’s looking good nature-wise and that the earth recovered just fine from that disaster in only 20 years. (So those of you that are afraid of getting nuked, rest assured, the deer population will come back stronger than ever!)
So how did a show so fascinating put me to sleep?
Time lapse photography + That announcer that speaks in a very important schoolish monotone = ZZZZZzzzz
Ok, the narrator does not speak in a complete monotone. It was like a Leonard Cohen 4-note range where it goes up but only a smidgen. It put me to sleep.
I recommend it – it was good. Plus, the title of the next segment is "The Bodies Left Behind" gross, yet irresistible!
