Networking: Don’t be a people hog
March 16, 2008 | by Jennifer Gniadecki | Filed Under Networking, The Everything Basket
Based on a true story: My friend spent about 10 hours over two days this week sharing space with a woman she thought was a close friend. The close friend kept talking to people at the event and never once introduced my friend.
Have you ever been in a situation where you’re either selling next to someone you know, or you are in the same room with a friend at a party?
However you end up next to someone else, the question remains the same: What do you do if someone comes up to you and you talk to them while next to someone you’re friends with?
Unless I’m asking the question badly, the answer should be obvious - you introduce the person next to you to the person you know. You always introduce, because if you don’t , it will be taken personally.
If you don’t care if the person you’re with takes it personally, you should seriously rethink why you are friends with them. If you don’t like them but hang out because they give you leads and business, you need to understand that will dry up quickly. No one you want to know or be seen with will put up with that for very long.
On a quick side note, if you are the person standing next to the fool that is talking to someone and not introducing you…jump in there and introduce yourself. You can even lead with, “Wow…my friend Julie seems to really think you’re the cat’s pajamas…who are you, you devilish mystery woman?”
I always use humor, not because I think I’m that funny, but when you say something that is obviously supposed to be funny, you are giving people the social cue that lets them know laughter is the appropriate way to react to what you’ve said. It reduces the stunned silence and embarrassing “um…well…uh…what were we talking about” issues that can arise from interrupting another’s conversation.
But yeah, if someone is good enough to go to an event with, they’re damn well good enough to introduce people to. It’s the way business is done, and not respecting that will get you in a heap of trouble down the road.
Technorati Tags: networking, faux pas, business friends, manners
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Excellent post. My motto is to take ownership of any situation; if my friend is being a jerk and ignoring me, that doesn’t mean I have to stay in the background. Sometimes it takes courage to step up to new folks, but hey, it builds character.
Enjoy,
Barbara
Barbara Ling (aka Owlbert)’s last blog post..Turbo-charge your blog with the ultimate of beverages for free!
If I am with a friend and someone else I know comes up and starts talking to me I make a point to stop the conversation and introduce my friend and bring them in to the conversation.
However, I have been the ignored friend before and like Barbara said even if your friend is being a jerk you need to take ownership for your own experience. You have more choices than just sitting there being invisible… you can:
A. Jump in to the conversation and introduce yourself Jenny style
B. You can start talking the person sitting on the other side of you and make a mental note to not go to networking events with this friend again.
C. You can get up and start mingling with others.
If you are a little shy and mingling sounds scary to you, I suggest looking around the room for someone else that looks shy or uncomfortable. Go up to that person and introduce yourself. I’m sure they will be relieved to have someone to talk with.
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@Barbara I love the phrase “It builds character” - and on the bright side it gets easier to be a conversation-crasher the more you do it LOL
@Sally Love your tips! There are a few people I’ve not networked with again after something like this happened, because even with my titanium-strength boldness, I still get shocked when people don’t follow simple social standards of politeness.
Also, the point about finding another uncomfortable person is great, because it works almost every time. Unless the person freaks out because they think you’re selling something. I always make it a point to say “I’m not selling anything.” I mean, I am selling something…but we all are…I think by saying I’m not selling anything I’m just letting them know I’m using them for conversation rather than drooling over the wallet they have on them.