So then there was the time I couldn’t eat eggs for eight years…

egg-in-a-panMost of my childhood is filled with fond memories of scrambled eggs with cheese for breakfast with the grandmothers.

I absolutely loved eggs. Whether it was a normal breakfast at home or stopping at a diner, wasted and with friends, after a night of partying…eggs were always my go-to food. Breakfast was my favorite meal of the day. I loved it. I perfected making an omlette in a stainless steel pan and then using an electric oven to put the whole pan in and create this huge, fluffy plate full of awesome. (If you have an electric stove I highly recommend this. Since I haven’t been able to eat eggs, I’ve never tried it my gas oven with the broiler on top. It might still work.)

Eggs were my jam, people, my absolute favorite food.

Then I had S, and everything changed. The first time I had eggs after I had that first baby was a lesson in pain. Please keep in mind I had just had a baby so I was completely and totally aware of what pain was. I ate the omlette and my stomach kind of made this sound like a gumble cut with the sound of squeaking foam packing peanuts. It was a bad, bad sound. Then the pain came. Hot and overwhelming, I got dizzy and broke out in a cold sweat. My head lolled and I moaned and leaned over the side of the hospital bed to try and put pressure on my stomach.

It was a nightmare.

The best part, in retrospect, was that I didn’t blame the eggs right away. This whole scene had to happen three more times (ish) before it dawned on me that, “OH! Hey! Eggs HURT!” and I stopped eating them and all was well. I could have pancakes or other things that had eggs in them, but no regular eggs. It was a sad day, but when something hurts you that bad you kind of just know you won’t be eating eggs again.

Over the years, I’ve occasionally tried different things. Egg whites (owie) Egg beaters (I didn’t know at the time they were just egg whites) Eating just an eighth of the omlette and, my personal favorite, putting more cheese on the eggs because maybe the cheese will hide the eggs from my stomach. Crazy stuff that never, ever worked. It couldn’t be an allergy, because I could eat baked goods (except cheesecake and custard, but that might be my inability to drink milk that happened after my second child was born 11 months later).

Childbirth: The gift that keeps on giving.

But a couple months ago we were on a road trip to another state and we got the kids McDonald’s for breakfast because they eat healthy all the time and once in a great while I kind of want them to eat crap so their little bodies don’t forget how to process it because you never know when you might be alone in a strange land and the only options are to eat raw monkey brains or McDonald’s and then I want my kids to have a fair choice and not be forced into eating something from Indiana Jones just because they know it’s a safer alternative for them since, in this scenario, they’re obviously going to have to poop in the woods and we want woods-poop to be the easiest kind of poop at all times.

What was I saying?

Oh! So they were eating what they were eating and they accidentally gave us an extra egg mcmuffin and I was so hungry and trying to drink my coffee with half and half to not be hungry anymore (becasue I don’t believe that a hamburger from mcdonald’s without the bun is primal, amirite?) and had a total fat girl moment and I ate that egg mcmuffin like one of the kids out of Angela’s Ashes.

….and nothing happened.

I was amazed and horrified. I waited two weeks and tried it again. I felt guilty and sad like I was cheating on a diet but I just kept telling myself that it wasn’t about the mcdonald’s it was about the egg. Luckily, I’ve never had issues with fast food so it’s not like I had to have that conversation with myself about cravings and health and appropriate nutrition for myself. But I still felt like I was sneaking. I even called my husband like he was some kind of egg mcmuffin sponsor to tell him what I was going to do. “Doesn’t seem like a bad idea.” He said. That’s the thing about him that I find hilarious, he just doesn’t see the drama in things I do. Which is probably really good because if we both freaked out because I was going to buy a fast food breakfast sandwich that would look insane. So he didn’t care and I got the sandwich and I ate it slowly in the parking lot just in case I got sick and gave up on ever having an egg again, this was kind of my last shot and I wanted to make it last and just enjoy the taste of egg. After I was finished, I drove home, sure that the rumbling was coming any moment.

….but nothing happened.

No pain, no bloating, no horrible sweating and loss of neck muscle use. Holy crap! I then tried to find out what made this egg different. I knew that it was one real egg and not scrambled like the eggs on other mcdonalds sandwiches. It was just an egg. It probably wasn’t the best egg, I mean, I am trying to get grassfed this and freerange that and Omega-3s and whatever and I’m pretty certain that mcdonald’s doesn’t fill those requirements. It was something I just kind of ate on a whim because I was so hungry and it was the first time it didn’t hurt so that’s why I tried it again. Food experiments are a thing over here in the Decki household, and you can’t be sure of something if you don’t try the same thing more than once. But once you determine nothing is going to happen twice, you can stop eating that gross thing and move on to the good stuff for further trials!

So, after making eggs for my husband this morning at 5:20am I decided once he left I was going to just fry myself up an egg in some coconut oil. I did it! I fried up an egg (I think it’s called over hard) and I ate that egg with fear and trepidation.

Nothing happened!!!!!

If i can incorporate eggs into my diet then it will be so much easier to make primal breakfasts. Making eggs for the girls and having to just drink coffee and buck up hasn’t been my favorite part of the morning. Now I can just cook once and start my day with some breakfast with the kids. It will be a better memory for them than when I sit with them as they eat breakfast just drinking my coffee. I want them to go into adulthood knowing breakfast is an important meal, not thinking at some point they need to stop eating breakfast and start having coffee instead.

Overall, I’m glad I never gave up on eggs. It’s been 8 years and that’s a long time to not be able to eat something but now it’s back and I can go look up all those primal breakfast recipes I’ve been missing!


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8 Thoughts on “So then there was the time I couldn’t eat eggs for eight years…

  1. It’s so funny how our bodies decide on foods we can and can’t eat, and then change their minds later on. I’m glad you’re able to enjoy eggs again.

  2. I am so glad you get to eat eggs again too! Such an easy and yummy meal :)

  3. “eggs were my jam” funniest thing, ever! I am so glad you’re getting them back in your life. I’m having a similar issue with my love of dairy. I’m pretty sure my body hates it but I love, love, love all things cheesy and milky. Ugh.

  4. Man I love some eggs. I also love your description of eating that Egg McMuffin.

    Glad that you can eat eggs again. :)

  5. That is awesome! I love eggs, too. After I had my first daughter, I became allergic to strawberries and red dye #40. After my second daughter, I became allergic to mangoes and eggplant. Now, 2 years after my second daughter, I have developed a sensitivity to gluten. I cannot explain any of this. It’s amazing how much our bodies change.

  6. WOO! Congratulations on being able to eat eggs again! Breakfast is totally my perfect meal too, so I give you major applause on continuing to try until it worked. Love the food experiments and love the poop in the woods scenario. You crack me up. I hope you have an amazing week!

  7. You crack.me.the.hell.UP! “eggs were my jam” OMG

    Congrats on being able to eat eggs again! Woot!

  8. Glad to hear you can eat eggs again. I LOVE breakfast, it’s my favorite part of the day, and I don’t know what I would do if I couldn’t eat eggs.

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