Okay, so I keep prattling on and on about the new gig I have. It’s low-paying, low-stress, and pretty easy. I do it from home and I don’t talk on the phone. I paid money for training and a background check up front with no promise of passing the certification and actually being able to choose shifts and begin working.
That was all pretty stressful.
But now should be the time to shine. The easy part. Just logging in and doing the job – the thing this was all working toward – is the reward for all that training effort. So what’s the problem? I hear you asking.
My husband is stressing me out.
He has a lot to be stressed about. He starts his job on the 9th and it’s going to drastically alter what our daily family dynamic looks like. The hours are weird and the pay is also low. This, for him, is an “in betweener” job while he processes through for the job he really, really wants. The job, he says, that will allow me not to work.
Surprise! I have a husband who doesn’t want me to work. Our tenth anniversary is in three months and I had no idea until just recently that the reason he’s such an ass when I’m working is because he takes it very personally when I do. He’s not mad at me, he’s mad at himself. He doesn’t even take it out on me, he just gets really grumpy. I think it’s sweet, unless it directly influences how I do my gig – and that’s where we’re at now.
Even when he gets the awesome job and starts and does his thing, I’m not going to quit working. My pay will go from being necessary to debt snowball money. Yes, I know I mentioned this yesterday but I said it would get it’s own post and here I am being all follow-through-y and whatnot!I want to be debt-free. I don’t know that I ever want to call and scream it on the radio, but for myself and my family, I want this. I want it more than many, many other things (cable television comes to mind) and will do a lot to see that we stay on track with that. If I’m making an extra amount of money per month, and we put that on top of our car payment, we can have it paid off in about 8 months instead of the scheduled 3 1/2 years that are left on the life of the loan.
That’s a lot of motivation.
Then we can take our current car payment (just shy of $500) add that to my income and start chipping away at the student loan debts. Those are probably going to mean more to me being paid off than the mortgage. It will be such a relief. I might cry. I will absolutely throw a party. I won’t tell anyone what it’s for – I don’t want it to seem like I’m rubbing it in anyone’s face or anything – but there will be a party and it will be good.
I guess what I’m saying is the way I cope with the stress of having a job, from the stress I create to the stress during the job, to the stress from my husband – is to focus on my goals. The light at the end of the tunnel that’s not an oncoming train. There is an “other side” to this and I’m going to get there and my family will be with me.
I don’t have passion for what I do. I never have. My passion lies within my life and my family and my friends and people. I don’t want to make money from my passion, because making money from the love I have for other people is an option I currently do not choose to take. I have a long-term plan for that, but I need to be debt-free first so I can begin that venture with a cash flow strategy. No taking on debt to start a business, even if it’s a not for profit business.
Short term goals and long term goals are my sword and my shield. I polish them daily and see myself in the reflection. I think about what I will do once I have a dollar in my hand that is owed to no one and is mine alone. I think I will frame it.
I know the day will come.
So maybe it’s not just goals, but faith as well that keep me going. I’m not sure, but it’s interesting to do the soul-searching and see what else pops up.