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It used to look a little something like this…
Me: Honey? Have you checked the mail?
He: Yeah, there were a couple bills.
Me: Oh, ok, put them in the pile.
He: Have you paid any yet?
Me: No, I have to check the bank account first.
((phone rings))
He: Babe? I just paid the cell phone bill. We owed two months. They’re taking $300 out of our account right now.
Me: WHAT?! We don’t have that much in the account until tomorrow! What were you thinking?!
He: I was THINKING we should pay the bill so the phones don’t get shut off.
Me: You think you know so much about the bills? Then YOU pay them!
He: I just did. ((rolls eyes))
Me: ((unintelligible yelling, sputtering and flailing arms))
It wasn’t pretty, by any means. We didn’t have a budget, we didn’t track our expenses, and we didn’t communicate about money unless it was already spent. There were a lot of money fights.
Then we started to get smart about finances because, honestly, we both realized it was stupid to argue about money. We weren’t going to remember that stuff when we were old and we didn’t want to waste our lives going from not caring to worrying to panicking every month. We were done!
Time for a Plan
The first thing we did (this was maybe the second year we were married) was write down our expenses and write down our income. The results weren’t pretty, we didn’t make enough to pay all our bills. But it was the first step to understanding that the problem wasn’t poor money management…it was not having enough money!
Not having a budget is like gambling with your money!
What We Have Learned (so far!)
1. Never take a bill out of your budget spreadsheet. Just put $0 dollars in the “owed” column if it’s an “every so often” payment. That way you don’t forget about it. (Like we did a hundred times before just putting in that darn zero!)
2. An income problem is not your fault. Well, until you know it exists, then it’s your job to find a way to fix it. Get a second job, do freelance work from home, whatever it (legally) takes to get your income to the point where you can pay your bills.
3. Get rid of unnecessary expenses! We have basic cable and I’m this close to shutting it down entirely and living on the DVD movies and rentals and HDMI cable that lets me plug my laptop right into my TV and watch almost every network show that’s on television with limited commercial interruptions.
4. It’s better to know than not know. We were so scared to see how bad we were doing that we avoided doing the budget. But without a budget you just don’t have any way to set REAL goals for yourself. Once we knew it was an income problem, we knew how it could be fixed. If it had been an expenses problem, we would have known we needed to cut our expenses.
5. You can always live on a little less. No matter how little you make, you can save some. When we did our budget and found out we couldn’t pay our bills, I put $50 a month into savings. I figured since we were already underwater, what’s another $50? My husband used part of our small – but important – savings account to buy an interview suit for the job he got shortly thereafter that allowed us to pay our bills. Savings helps me sleep better at night.
We learn more about money and finances every day we are together. We rarely fight about money anymore and my husband is thrilled when he buys products with rebates or coupons. We have an IRA, a couple of individual stocks, three savings accounts, and get our tax return direct deposited every year. It’s just how we do things around here, and it really works well for us.
How do you handle your family finances?
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