Well, not right this second because my hair is still in a transition phase from the baking soda. It feels greasy but looks amazing – so I don’t know what to do about that. Probably not much other than make sure to rinse my hair really, really good today before washing it.
I did a 3 mile power walk yesterday and want to get a couple miles in before showering today (which is why I’m not already squeaky clean) – I also need to start posting on Mondays again, but honestly, you’re not going to see a scale pic from me until my weight is lower than it was my last week of the 8-week mommy weight-loss challenge.
Because, and I’m really serious, if anyone says anything about my weight while I’m grieving I’ll lose my shit.
Completely.
I walk around at school, during work meetings, and at home…totally fine. Making jokes. Being awesome. But I still hurt – and to be safe I remove the potential to lash-out in order to NOT do that. As much as I crave the feeling of cutting all ties to everyone I know, I don’t. Because I don’t want to do anything I’ll regret years from now.
Was there a weight spike after the bad thing happened? Damn right there was. I stopped eating and wanted to die. I existed on cheese sticks, fruit and Riesling because that was the amount of time I was willing to eat for and my husband was handing me anything small and easily consumable. The wine is *horrible* for weight loss. Just horrible. All alcohol is. Plus, I hadn’t had a drop of liquor or wine or anything else alcohol while I was doing the Mamavation thing – so I got rocked really fast because my tolerance had dropped like a rock.
But I want to get back to the land of the living, even if it means still being in the land of the over-scheduled. I’m still hoping for an epiphany that lets me figure out how I have time for all the things I’m doing and to be able to give 100% to all of them when I’m doing them.
I want that. I really do.
For now? I’m going to share with you a sneak peek and let you know that I’ve been losing between 1-2lbs. a week. My goal is to have my abdominal surgery my doctor refuses to perform until I weigh 50lbs. less than I do right now.
So really, it’s a real goal. It’s not a pie in the sky thing, it’s surgery. Surgery I need. So weight loss will continue and soon, soon there will be a scale pic.
Plus, vlogging was really fun. I enjoyed it. So want to continue. 
I ♥ Being Social!