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Yep – I’m a Joiner!
Soda Pop On My Floor And Stress Beyond Measure
Update: I was being a moody brat. Everything is fine now. I argued with the husband, got big hugs, and feel tons better. I know I made it sound like I’m the star of a Lifetime movie about a poor wife and controlling husband, but it’s really not like that. Unless I’m having a temper tantrum, then it feels exactly like that.
So this whole being a stay at home mom thing is overrated.
I feel worthless. Sure, you can tell me that I’m raising kids and that’s a great thing but right now, I could not even care less.
Sick babies and my husband’s business and other crap keep me from being able to do anything, and holiday shopping kept me from being a good homemaker, which I’m now paying for in the form of a crabby husband.
The thing is, when I try to talk to him about it, he just turns it around on me saying that I’m not doing enough.
If I were doing any more, I’d be two people.
Now part of me deserves this. I was queen bee of this house when I was paying all the bills and I expected everyone to fall in line. But the difference is that I was a kinder ruler than my husband has turned out to be. He’s trying to be me and failing miserably. When I’m stressed and tell him so, he comes back with, “I’m stressed too.”
Uh…how does that help ME?
I’m sure this is just transitional growing pains, but part of me just wants to leave and start a new life in a studio apartment. Just go. Because what’s happening right now isn’t working for me at all.
Plus there’s a bunch of soda pop on my floor that I knocked over because I was pissed and he’s not cleaning it up and I’m sure as hell not cleaning it up…so I have no idea when, if ever, that’s getting cleaned up. Maybe I’ll just let the dogs out and they can clean it up. I’m so done right now I don’t know what to do with myself.
And the root of all my problems? Christmas and wanting to start a new business. A business I’ll actually enjoy. But I am not allowed to work on it when my husband is working.
Not allowed. Can you believe it?
Well, I am allowed but the paramaters that would make it acceptable are so out of whack I can’t even picture how it would be possible to work and have him not have some kind of problem with it.
I can’t wait to see how he acts when he becomes more successful. I’d say it can only get better from here but I know better – even at it’s worst my marriage is better than most of them – so this could get a whole hell of a lot worse and I don’t know what to do about it other than continue to lose myself in this new hell that is my stay at home mom life.
I don’t know how anyone does this and not go insane.
And no, I’m not packing up a two month old in the car and going somewhere in the cold. Just in case getting out of the house was going through your head as a potential suggestion.
Doesn’t this seem like one of those blog rants that makes you feel better for having written it? Yeah, I was hoping it would be too.
Almost Done With Christmas Prep!
Last night was the beginning of the magical end.
I’ve finally shopped for everyone except the people that are getting gift certificates.
If you are one of the people I get a gift certificate for, PLEASE know, it’s not because I didn’t care enough to buy you crap. It’s because I wasn’t 100% sure on a gift – and rather than giving you something I’m 80% sure you’ll like, which you may have to return, I’ll get you a gift certificate for a place I know 110% you’ll be thrilled with.
Yes, I’m giving enough certificates that I can make it into a blog post.
I ran into someone I knew from back in the day during Christmas festivities in the town. I’m always afraid she’s going to flip and scream cause I got too close to her “one and only from afar” at the time. But then I remember she got really close to MY “one and only from afar” at one point and how that freaked me out. So basically, I don’t feel weird talking anymore, because I’m not the asshole. She’s not the asshole, that’s not what I’m saying. We were just a coupla squirrels trying to get a nut. NOT that kind. Well not exclusively that kind.
Stop judging me. LOL
Back to reality. I’m waiting for my last minute Christmas Cards to come in the mail so I can address them all. Of course I don’t have addresses for half of them but I’m working on it and there have to be at least 20 in my Facebook Inbox.
Oh, the beginning of the end part – that does kind of need to be explained from way up there. I put all the girls’ stocking stuff INTO the stockings and then dumped it into marked plastic bags. (Because we haven’t decorated the stockings yet) – we also put all “box gifts” into their respective boxes.
Now? Just wrapping and tagging and tissue and bagging! I could VERY well be done in time to take the whole week of Christmas and just chill.
Except I have two writing assignments (blogging, actually) due by the end of the month.
Crap. Why do I always overschedule myself?
OH! And my first gift to Randy was getting my wedding ring cleaned and resized so I could wear it again. I’m such a good wife 
Plus, I love to do things for myself that count as presents to my husband. Total win-win!!
Merry Happy Yule Festival of Evergreen Grain
The searches for how people get to this blog fascinate me.
My favorite this month is “Ali Brown’s New Haircut.”
Whoever is blogging about that needs a hobby…or three.
Today the husband is going to talk to a wholesale distributor for the new business and then tonight we’re going to a party at a friend’s house. All in all a produtive AND fun day – my favorite kind.
We’ve decided to put the girls back in dance and tumbling, respectively. To let them know the deed has been done and they’ve been enrolled, we’re going to buy them each a new outfit and give it to them as a Christmas present/surprise. I think they’ll be thrilled.
The most expensive presents bought so far? Books. I spent so much on books I could cry. But they’re awesome books. Some are classics, and some are newer titles. I know the girls will love them, and I truly think they’re old enough now to take care of the books the way I feel books deserve to be taken care of.
Christmas has pretty much overtaken my life. The girls came home with information aout Kwanzaa the other day and I told my mom about it. She said, “If they came out with a holiday just for white people, everyone would freak out. Besides, I’m Christian so I celebrate Christmas. I keep the Christ in.”
My response was, “First of all, you can celebrate Kwanzaa – Since you celebrate at home, I’m pretty sure no one is going to come and tell you you’re too pale to celebrate. Second, it starts the day after Christmas, so it’s not an either/or. Third, have you HEARD of St. Patrick’s Day? That may be the WHITEST holiday of the year and I don’t see African-American protesters. Just sayin’”
So my mom is thinking about celebrating Kwanzaa.
I am a rockstar saleswoman.
No white holidays. Are you KIDDING me? Post-racial America my ass. Post-racial America would see that Kwanzaa is not a religious holiday, therefore does not interfere with Christian values (don’t get me started on the utter lack of religious freedom in America) and should be, at most, ignored. There is NO REASON to start up with the “black holdiay” vs. “white holiday” bullcrap.
Just hug someone every day between now and New Year’s Day and you’ve celebrated all the winter holidays with love.
Almost Done With Biz Setup (and why I’m not selling to you)
Today I spent the majority of the day working.
Yes, working.
Even though I’ve been playing Suzie Homemaker for the last couple months I’ve been going nutty without something to do that didn’t involve cooking or diaper changing.
It looks like I’ll be selling over at Etsy.com and maybe (depending on the TOS) Artfire.com as well. Of course there will be the standard website/blog combo and some traffic driving and all the good things that go with being in multiple places online.
And you know what? I’m not telling you what I’m selling or what name I’m selling it under. Cause it’s a secret.
I’m still pulled back from all the social networking online except for the random fun of Facebook, where I don’t have to see constant business updates or one more person trying to tell me that marketing isn’t about sales, it’s about SHARING and CARING and LOVE. (No, I don’t mean YOUR blog post…there are like twenty on the topic…stop being sensitive…you’re not the only one who blogged about it…LOL)
Almost anyone paying their mortgage is targeting customers like a freakin’ hunter in a forest. Want to know why? Because most customers are part of a herd. If you have to sell with sharing, caring, and love to get a sale…you’re selling to a really freakin’ small demographic – only a fraction of a percentage of which even have the money to buy your product or service. Love is awesome, but it is not the #1 go-to strategy for paying the bills. I’m not saying it can’t be done…just that it’s more difficult than traditional, effective, proven marketing techniques. (of course this varies based on what you sell, if it’s a product or service, who your demographic is, what your price point is – and a whole bunch of other stuff – I’m not trying to say what I’m saying is true for everyone, everywhere, everytime)
But whether your demographic has money or not – they WILL tell you how you should be running your business. So beware! Especially if you’re using social sites to promote your business. There are so many damn social media consultants out there – some of whom don’t even know that tagging pictures can be kind of a good thing – that it is difficult to NOT get advice about your business. (Remember, the first hit is always free…LOL)
One of my favorite movie quotes is from American Beauty, “In order to be successful, one must project an image of success at all times…” It’s like the Internet business owner’s mantra, and it’s kinda gross. I mean, if you look at my blog I’ll tell you about my debt, I’ll tell you when I don’t have money…but once I started doing really well…the money posts kind of dried up. Because I’m not into bragging or posting my paypal or bank account screenshots to show how much I made. Mostly because social media only gave me the connections to make that money. I had to SELL to actually score the cash in the account.
But the quote also reminds me that while there are some super successful people out there (like Ali Brown) that does not mean that everyone who seems uber successful actually are. In most cases there is no real way to find out unless you know them or know someone who knows them. Any more than one reliable degree of separation and there’s no way to verify or know for sure if who you’re talking to is the real deal.
Because good social networking and pink candy kisses and rainbows marketing is all well and good – but if you’re in it for a paycheck, you need to make sure your target is good, your advice is good, and your gun is loaded for bear.
As much as I love all of my readers, who are smart, funny, caring, and wonderful – I’m not selling to you. I’m selling to the person who bumped into you yesterday in the store and didn’t say excuse me. I’m selling to the guy who took up a parking space and a half because he was too lazy to back out and line the hell up into the space. I’m talking to the mom who is letting her kid yell at her in a public place because she believes she’s giving her child the freedom she needs to be herself. The people who still don’t get that credit cards aren’t a smart way to buy groceries. People who will spend money they don’t have.
I’m selling to a large niche that lives in the hugeness of the middle of the bell curve (and maybe even a little to the left). Not my awesome “so smart they’re at the right edge of the bell curve” readers.
So there’s your cynical business advice for the day. I’m still waiting for my new domain name to propagate or I’d be setting up my shopping cart and building my site. Guess it will have to wait ’till tomorrow.
Good night, and sweet dreams you smart, well-mannered, awesome people!
Oh, and I made the best cream of potato soup ever last week. It tasted the way I always wish it would when I order it from a diner. Just…perfect. Knowing I did that was a feeling I want to have again and again. Yea for homemade!
