-
Yep – I’m a Joiner!
If Only Babies Had A Button
My beautiful daughter is now just a nudge older than six weeks. (If you count that I would have been induced at 38 weeks if I was with an OB she would be ten weeks and five days old…I’ll stop counting that eventually…)
When she wants something, she cries. I know, baby 101, right? Makes sense. The only thing is, she goes from quiet, sleeping, happy baby to crying like you SET HER ON FIRE in less than a second. Once in a while there’s a warning noise. We call it her wind-up.
Wouldn’t it be nice if there was some way to say, “Hey baby, I hear you and I’m on my way!” that the baby actually understood? Some button I could press – the belly button would be terribly convenient – that would alert the baby that I’m on my way with whatever she needs and she can be quiet for five minutes.
Basically I want my baby to come equipped with a snooze button.
Because it amazes me over and over that she will be wailing loud enough to make my ears ring, but the SECOND her wet diaper is removed or milk is inserted into her mouth, she drops into complete monk-like silence.
Maybe I should just be grateful that she stops crying as fast as she starts.
Christmas Before Thanksgiving? I Get it Now!
With another week until Thanksgiving I saw an ad for Walmart. I don’t know what it was selling. All I remember was kids, dressed in pajamas, running into a living room with a lit tree and jumping on the couch with mom and dad to read a story.
That’s when I started to cry, which is probably why I missed what the hell those kids and that couch and that tree were trying to sell me.
I always get emotional in November. I have since my early twenties for reasons I won’t go into here, other than to say something kinda awful happened at the end of September this one time way back in the day. So November has always seen me feeling this weird impending sense of overwhelm and doom – but not really in a negative way – just a world-on-my-shoulders feeling.
I’m explaining this because I think it’s kind of amazing I’ve been able to channel that feeling into a sense of overwhelm at how amazing my family is, and how I want their lives to be this amazing experience. I want to be a good mother that raises soldja girls (Is souldja girl a real term that is used by actual people? If not, screw it, I made up my own term.) that learn from pain and love life to the fullest. Well, maybe not the fullest, but as close to the fullest as possible without needing medication to function.
Somehow, the Walmart commercial sparked that feeling…and now it’s a downhill slide all the way to Christmas. On the bright side it’s more like a slip and slide drenched with the tears of my love.
How awful does that sound? I’m laughing at myself. Say it out loud. “A slip and slide drenched with the tears of my love.”
Classic.
Wii Fit Plus with Board & Fitness Ultimatum 2010 Giveaway
Sports Authority and I are giving away a Wii Fit Plus (with Board) and a copy of Jillian Michaels’ Fitness Ultimatum 2010.
Come on over to MommyBlog Reviews and enter the contest running through November 23 @ 9am CST. More details including date and location of personal appearance are available on the site.
Good Luck!
I’m A Thanksgiving Virgin
I’ve always gone somewhere for Thanksgiving.
Complained as I bundled up the kids and wished that I could just, you know, do it at home.
But now with a partially completed kitchen renovation and an addiction to Food Network making me wonder if I have the cooking chops to pull it off – I’m nervous. Really, really nervous.
I’ve even been planning emergency maneuvers – just in case.
- If someone eats a bite of food and makes a face, I’ll tell them the kid spit in that dish. Then it won’t be my cooking that’s to blame. Yes, this is unfair to the children…they’ll have years and years to put me through hell and more than make up for some misplaced blame when they were itty bitty.
- If something is taking longer than expected to cook, I’ll play a round of “pass the baby” – hopefully that will buy me an extra half hour or so. I just have to make sure the baby is changed and well-fed, because a round of “pass the baby” doesn’t last long at all if the baby is screaming at the top of her lungs, and I’m pretty sure the appetizers I’m making don’t go well with changing a diaper.
- I may choreograph a routine with the two preschoolers as another time-buying tactic. Maybe a song and dance number. If I have to put glasses next to them to really distract the guests, it’s not beneath me to set my kids up to break a little glass as a distraction. I hear if I make them scream, “Opa!” after they break the glass everyone will think it’s funny and not scary and dangerous.
If you’re hosting Thanksgiving, do you have some distraction ideas lined up in case something goes horribly wrong? Maybe spiking the punch to keep the guests compliant and calm? I thought of that too – but my grams can be a mean drunk so we’re going to keep the booze away from her. (Actually, she’s just not allowed to drink, doctor’s orders…but we tell her it’s because she’s a mean drunk – she thinks it’s hilarious because she knows it’s the doctor but plays along with us.)
Even though I keep making plans on how I’m going to cook the Turkey, we’re really having ham for Thanksgiving. I was thinking about trying the Neely’s Peach Glazed Ham recipe from Food Network.
But maybe I should be making a turkey. I’m just not sure. I have my distractions all planned and the liquor cabinet is stocked (it’s all for me, don’t ask me to share) – if I could get the menu down pat I’d be all set for the holiday!
But hey, it could be worse…we could be hosting Christmas!
Oh, wait…we are.
Stop Being Stuck – Just Say “Excuse Me”
I’ve noticed a disturbing trend. People don’t say, “excuse me” anymore.
When I’m in a store I’ll just feel weird and look around and there will be someone there. Just standing there with a cart…looking at me impatiently. If I move, they will go past and on their merry way. If I don’t move they will continue to wait.
If I don’t notice them for long enough they might start browsing right where they are in the store, or … eventually … they will turn their cart around and go the opposite direction.
Now, at first I thought this was just a sign of people not being raised right and having no manners. But I’m starting to think this is a symptom of a much larger problem.
Excuse me is a magic phrase. It does not admit fault, it does not place blame. It’s just a polite way to say, “HEY, I’M HERE AND NEED TO BE THERE – YOU’RE IN MY WAY AND I NEED YOU TO MOVE!” There is nothing about the phrase that would make one feel less of a person or that you are somehow giving power to the person you need to get around.
What’s worse is that not only do people not say excuse me…they just stand there. It’s not a gender thing or a race thing or an age thing. See, I would think if you’re not going to say excuse me – for whatever reason – you would immediately just go around and through the nearest aisle to get around to where you need to be. I don’t use my cart to block large portions of an aisle and my ass, while big, is not so big that you would not be able to get to a section of shelving just by the nature of me standing by some canned goods.
In almost every case I’m at the end or near the end of an aisle and the person needs to get into the aisle and my cart is in the way.
And they just stand there.
They stand far longer than it would take to wheel around the next aisle and come into the aisle I’m in from the other end. Heck, it would only take five seconds to get around me if they said, “excuse me.” But instead they just stand.
I have a feeling this creeps out in other parts of these people’s lives. The way that friend you have just stays in the bad relationship instead of doing something about it. The way someone just stays in a crappy job instead of trying to get promoted or looking for another gig. The way that people just STAY instead of MOVING in so many aspects of life and in so many ways.
People saying they want to work from home, but just never taking the first step or getting help. People wanting to have enough money to pay the bills but not changing their lifestyle or finding a way to increase income. People who always have an excuse but never a success story.
People who just don’t have an “excuse me” in them to give. Because they stand and stare at me and blame me for where they are and probably think I’m causing them to be in the store longer than they wanted to. They stand and wonder if I’ll ever move, while I am oblivious to their presence. People that feel it is my responsibility to help them get where they need to be without being willing to say a word or take action.
I no longer get angry when people glare at me for being in the way when there are five other ways they could get to where they’re going. I no longer get annoyed when the first time someone is brought to my attention is when they’ve become so fed up they stomp off in the other direction with their cart. They are choosing to take a path that blames others – when they have the tools and the power to make their own path.
On the surface it seems like people have just become less polite – but I truly believe that it is people taking less responsibility for their own actions.
It kind of scares me.
Back to Normal and the Economy is Not Improving
While I realize there really is no true “Normal” in anyone’s life (especially mine) there is a sense of peace when things are familiar. The baby crying isn’t a wonderful, amazing event…but it’s something I’m used to, so it doesn’t cause me any great anxiety or stress when she does cry.
My goal in life is usually to try and keep everything around me as familiar as possible. Sure, things come up and new jobs are acquired which change up everyone’s routine…those are stressful, but also exciting because who knows where those paths will lead?
One of the things I have been thinking about is the mall job I just took on – about 60 people interviewed for 7 part-time, holiday positions. I’m thinking the economy hasn’t been recovering as much as the television would have me believe.
It’s kind of scary to know that many people competed for a job that only pays a nudge above minimum wage. If I don’t need the money, does that mean I took the job from someone who may have needed it to pay rent or feed kids or something really important? It’s something I can’t know, but at the same time if I was a good enough fit to not even need an interview, maybe I shouldn’t borrow trouble or worry. I’m not the only one who got hired…maybe one of the other six took the job from the person who needed it the most.
My kitchen remodel is almost done. I’m SO excited. We got these beautiful oil-brushed bronze pull-knobs for the drawers and cabinets – they will coordinate with the light switch covers and outlet covers.
Even better? I measured the countertop and I will have five and a half feet of counter space. In a row. Usable, awesome counter space. I am going to cook like a madwoman this holiday season. Because nothing makes me want to cook like having a great place to do it – know what I mean?
Haiku – To My Breasts
such great happy smiling globes
then the babies came
achy and tender sadness
New Workspace – New Priorities – Old Stress
Right now I’m blogging from my living room – a huge change from being in my office environment doing office-y type things. I’m trying to find a good balance between getting stuff done and being a good parent. I’ve really enjoyed the past few months where my focus has been a lot more housewife and a lot less breadwinner. My kids get into less trouble, there are fewer murals of crayon love on my walls, and they seem to be bonding with their little sister faster than I could have hoped. There is no jealousy because I’m more available – even with a new baby – than I have been for them in the past couple years. They’re thrilled to have this kind of access to mom, so they don’t notice that a lot of that attention is going to the newborn.
But even with all the enjoyment and happiness there is this little hint of a feeling inside me. It’s like a churning kind of feeling. The paranoia that comes with not actively working. Sure, I should be working soon…but I’m not right. this. second. and that worries me on a deep level.
It also worries me that I may never be happy being a housewife unless I have some way of bringing in income. This probably comes from my great-grandmother who raised me with a few primary beliefs:
- Don’t rely on anyone else to take care of you. Marriage is about partnership, but if something happens, you need to be able to take care of yourself and your family solo.
- Women weren’t meant to sit around taking care of babies. They will never be truly happy unless they can provide for those children with more than hair and makeup and a pleasant attitude to make sure they get fed. (Sounds a lot like #1 now that I write it down – she was an ace at reinforcing her beliefs!)
So I’m trapped in this place where I don’t know if my feelings are my own or if they are just a remnant of my childhood teaching. Great-gramma also taught me that nothing is ever good enough – things can always be improved or done in a better way. So, even if I am taking care of my children and making an income it probably won’t feel like enough.
But how do you recalibrate your soul for the proper definition of “enough”? I don’t see how that’s even possible.
I’m torn. Thrilled to be a great parent to my children, enjoying letting my husband take the lead and letting him support the family…but feeling a serious lack of great businesswoman in the mix.
The laptop in the living room is a start. Now I plan on using it to create something good that will quench the junkie-like craving for money/security that I can’t seem to shake. Sure, I could pick a number and when my savings account gets to that tell myself that’s all the security I need…but that would be so arbitrary (I know there are guidelines – 8 months of income … 6 months of expenses … but how do you REALLY know how much savings is enough?? You can’t!) So I just set the goal higher and higher every time we get to one.
There are worse things to crave than financial security, I guess.
