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Yep – I’m a Joiner!
41 Week Update (Yep, Still Pregnant!)
Baby is still in there. Due date was the 20th so I’m just about 41 weeks today!
There have been contractions, even fairly regular ones, but nothing closer than 17 minutes apart as of yesterday.
We shall see what happens today. I know I’m safe and baby is safe, so if anyone else is nervous or freaking out (like my mom, aka, “Will there be an ambulance parked outside of your house?” LOL) I’m choosing not to let it affect me…and doing a surprisingly good job of it!
Today I go in for a non-stress test at the midwife’s office as well as an internal check and membrane stripping (or membrane sweeping if stripping sounds too harsh). I get to see how far along I am as well as seeing if the sweep gets things going. If not, there’s the follow up chiropractor appointment on Monday and the acupuncturist/naturopath on Wednesday.
Because, by golly, it’s alternative medicine week here at the ‘decki household 
I just wish everyone was as secure as I am that she will come when she is ready, and not a moment sooner. She’s moving regularly (and HARD – this girl is strong!) and I feel fantastic.
We’re doing great.
Subverting “Sports Week” At Preschool
We just found out next week is We Are A Team Week at my daughter’s preschool.
The recommendation is to wear sports clothing from the child’s (parents) favorite team for the week. They will use sports to teach the children about teamwork.
My kids don’t own any sports-themed clothing. Not because they’re girls, not because I’m against sports…they don’t have any clothing with characters or logos at this time. It’s not something I feel strongly about, so I’ll probably try and find an Urlacher jersey for Sadie (what? you thought I’d get her a cheerleading uniform?) and then will send her the other day of school next week in a T-Shirt I’m going to have made as soon as I’m done with this post.
It says: Team Family – The most important team of all…
I’ve been using the concept of Team Family in our home for the last few months, and the kids seem to really enjoy it and respond to the idea that the family is a team and we’re all part of it. It takes away the “us vs. them” mentality that my girls get sometimes when they feel put upon or disregarded in decisions. It is a constant reminder that they do matter and we do want to listen to them…even if the decision we come to is not the one they would have preferred.
I hope the teachers enjoy it, and that it fits smoothly with their team-based lesson plans for the week. I certainly hope they already had plans to cover how a family is a team during the week. If not, maybe this will help them think about it a little differently for the next round of students coming in.
Because Team Family is my favorite team. I’m not making that up. There’s no team on earth I’m a bigger fan of and will root harder for. It is the only team I’d get hurt defending and that I would get crazy protecting.
They’re worth it.
My Political Ignorance
I keep watching the coverage on different channels and on different social networks and different websites – conservatives are crazy, liberals are sheep. They keep throwing insults and blame and barbs back and forth, back and forth.
Truly, I’ve come to believe that no one even wants to have a conversation about anything. Everyone just wants to say what they think and end it with blaming the “other side” (the “baaaad side”) for what’s wrong.
Now, it is entirely possible I am ignorant and these are the ravings of a madwoman, but here’s what I see as the problem.
People who decide to be politicians as a career choice are a … certain type of people. People who are living at the whim of large groups of other people. Who have chosen to succeed and thrive in a system that is basically a big-ass popularity contest. Not just one popularity contest, either. Multiple popularity contests every few years.
So, it seems to me that the best way to keep your job is to not piss anyone off.
That means not tackling big issues unless absolutely necessary. Big issues mean divided people. Divided people can’t be counted on to vote the way you want them to next time you are up for re-election.
As long as liberals and conservatives pretend the problem is one another, it will keep people divided.
Don’t get me wrong – I understand some issues will always keep people apart. Abortion, the death-penalty, the environment. But these are not cut-and-dry liberal/conservative issues. Not even a little bit.
For example: I’m so tired of hearing people say – with utter conviction – conservatives don’t care about the environment. But that just. isn’t. true. Most conservatives like hunting – if the environment goes to crap and the water poisons everything…WHAT WILL THEY HUNT? Hate the NRA all you want, but those people want the environment to stay awesome.
Mixing everyone into a pot and slapping one label on it does no one any good.
Another example: I’m sick of hearing people say all liberals are crazy lemmings that want everyone to have abortions. I know anti-choice liberals (more than a few) and I know that many, many more people have no idea what a late-term abortion even requires, by law. It’s unfair to say liberals don’t care about the war now that health care is the issue du jour. Liberals are no more unintelligent or uninformed (or intelligent and informed, whatever) than conservatives. People do not stop being people based on their political views.
While there are extremes of people who fit perfectly into the “liberal” and “conservative” molds, to assume that is where most of the bell curve lives is making a horrible, terrible mistake.
To spout your political views AT people, instead of having conversations, is never going to convert anyone to your point of view except those that already agree – which just makes you another politician speaking from your altar on-high to people who are already converted to your religion.
Which makes me sad. Because there are SO many people who are open to listening, if only people would speak slowly and clearly and without malice. Also, without name calling.
The big problem is that no matter what we believe as a group, we have to go through the political gatekeepers. That means no matter how much you care, you can’t do a damn thing about it unless you can make a big enough fuss that it makes it more of a risk NOT to do something than to do something. Maybe politicians run on potential energy, because it always feels to me that a politician is an object at rest wanting to stay at rest.
The Sleep Schedule Starts To Break Down
I’m sure we all knew this was going to happen eventually.
I really feel I’ve been terribly lucky that I’ve been sleeping this well this long (today I’m at 39 weeks + 3 days) and even in my bed. My last two pregnancies I was sleeping sitting up in a chair from 37 weeks until the inductions at 38 weeks.
It’s weird that I’m on my third kid and can honestly say I’ve never been this pregnant before!
But last night it changed. I just lay there in bed, for hours, awake and in pain most of the night. My hip – more specifically my sciatic nerve – was throbbing unless I was “just so” in bed. I finally gave up at 5am and got up, took a shower, and went out to breakfast with a friend at about 7:30am.
This afternoon I took a two hour nap and now I feel all groggy and woozy.
I’m alternately relieved and horrified that the baby will probably show up this week. I’m so used to my current state of being that I can’t imagine it being any different.
On the bright side, if I continue to be unable to sleep in my bed, you can see Abby is ready to jump in and keep my side warm. LOL
I just said to my stomach, “You ready yet baby? Because I certainly am!” She kicked a few times in response. Talking to something inside of my body and having it respond to my voice is SO creepy.
Going To The Bookstore Today
Luckily my friend is only a little worried my water may break in the store, creating an embarrassing situation that causes us to leave shrieking and laughing out the door.
Honestly, though, I don’t think that’s going to happen. She feels like she’s in there for the long haul and I won’t be even mildly worried about water breakage until Thursday (due date #1) – but even mild worry won’t keep me from leaving the house!
I wonder how many women have public water breakage.
The book I’m going to get is 48 Days To The Work You Love
Updated to Add: Ended up looking at 48 Days and realized it was NOT the book for me. It was 1% “What should I do?” and 99% “How to get a job doing it.” My problem is the WHAT not the HOW. (I could figure out how to get a job shoveling dung if that’s what I really wanted to do when I woke up every morning.)
So while going through the careers section, I ran across a different book… Zen and the Art of Making a Living: A Practical Guide to Creative Career Design
While I generally avoid anything religious like the plague, Zen isn’t actually a religion but a philosophy, so I sucked it up and glanced inside. WOW! This book is over 500 pages, and a huge chunk of that is exercises and questions and lists that help you figure out what you want to do. Exactly what I need.
I’m not intimidated by the length of the book, because I plan on working through it slowly during new-baby time. There are sections on careers, independent/freelance, starting a business, and even starting a non-profit! While I know how to do three out of four of those, connecting that once I know what the heck I want to do might be really helpful. It certainly can’t hurt. I’m only on page 61 right now, but already feel better than I have in weeks about potential future careers or business plans. The book is not only informative, but calming.
Because one of the basic points of the book is that I already know what I’m on this earth to do, I just have to match up what that is with my brain that keeps screaming, “I don’t know!”
It gives me hope.
Hope that I’ll be able to do something that has meaning once the kids are all in school and out of my uterus. That there will *be* a next and breeding isn’t going to be the be-all and end-all of my life.
Note: Don’t get me wrong. I think raising kids is an important job. I have this feeling that anything I want to do will require either more schooling or different training or something. The plan I’m making now, before and just after this little girl is born, is a long term plan. One that is intended to be an eventual smooth transition between the kids going to full-day school and me at a fulfilling, amazing job or business or freelance career that I will the be able to throw myself into with reckless abandon and joy.
Gosh, that would be nice.
I Keep Surfing College Websites
Randy has not only been doing all the remodeling in the home, he’s also been doing all the work.
My job has seriously been “be pregnant and healthy and then have the baby.”
I may go mad.
So, in order to have a plan, I keep trying to decide what to do next. If you know me, you know I’m always trying to figure out what to do next. Resting on the past or relishing in the moment are just not how I get through the day. One of the reasons I stopped working last month is because I knew I needed to get ready to focus on the newborn – to the exclusion of most everything else – at least for the first month.
From cloth diapering to breastfeeding, figuring out how to just be a mom is going to be the biggest challenge of my life. Because even if I’m “just” a mom, that’s the biggest, hairiest, scariest JUST in history. For me it’s right up there with saying something like “it’s just nuclear warfare” – you can say just but that doesn’ t make it smaller.
So I keep thinking of what’s next.
Do I want to go back to writing after the baby is old enough? Do I want to be a stay-at-home-mom for a while and focus on keeping a nice house and cooking dinner and enriching the lives of my children?
I have no idea. I also know that any decisions I make now are probably going to be pointless by the time I’m actually able to do something else. Because in a few months my life may look drastically different and planning for the unknown is usually pointless.
It’s like trying to figure out X+Y=Z without knowing what X and Z are.
But even though I know it’s pointless, I still peruse and search and think and plan and plot.
Because I don’t like sitting here waiting for the baby to be ready to come into the world. I don’t like not knowing what happens next. I’m just not wired to sit back and enjoy my status around here as “She who is about to give birth so has to do nothing but rest and relax.” It’s BORING.
So this weekend I’ll go to the bookstore, and probably have some crazy water-breaking-in-public fiasco to distract me. Or maybe I’ll just waddle around the bookstore and glare at people who stare at my abdomen looking like an alien is trying to bust its way out of my stomach - it could go either way.
Until then, I’ll keep visualizing my cervix opening. I searched for a picture of a cervix online to see what I was visualizing. Don’t do that. It’s not pretty.
38 Weeks = Insanity
So – Friday the magic ticker clicked over to 38 weeks and I realized that baby is done cooking and could now come at any time. Sure it still might be four more weeks (many a woman goes to 42 weeks, so I’ve heard) but it could also be tomorrow, or in fifteen minutes.
The control freak in me does not like this.
In the meantime those Humane Society commercials keep coming on. Those make me cry SO hard, but I also can’t make myself change the channel and I snuggle my dogs a little to make me feel better.
Laundry is being done – I’m not sure if the front bathroom is even going to be done in time but who knows. I am pretty excited the last layer of patch is going on right now, then a coat of primer on the greenboard, then … finally … it will be time to paint!
Everything else for baby is basically ready. Well, as ready as anyone can be for a baby to come into the world. (Which really isn’t very ready at all. LOL) My job at this point is to just finish gestating. Stay active but not too active, relax but don’t stay in bed 24/7 (not that I could with my girls running around!) keep my feet up but drink lots of water.
And avoid Humane Society commercials like the PLAGUE – because they make me CRY.
Oh, and I have to put together a potential playlist as well as the “Honey, I’m in labor, call these people” and a “Honey, we have baby, call these people” lists.
The problem is if I think about it for too long I get all freaked out and then just get all distracted and listen to an archived episode of the Dave Ramsey Show (His voice is so hypnotic and calming, maybe I should listen to him while I give birth! Ha!)
I’ve had some practice contractions every few hours, so just in case I forget she could come any moment…well…yeah, my body is kind enough to remind me. You know, just in case I manage to relax.
Oh! One other thing…the Swiffer SweeperVac is awesome! It has just enough suction to pull up the junk that ends up on my floor (cereal bits, etc) but is pretty quiet – that means my kids don’t freak out and my dogs don’t bark incessantly at it while in use – the way they used to with the vacuum! So now I have this cool habit where on one day I’ll use the sweeper vac and then the next day I’ll use the wet cloths and so on…that way the floor stays looking good. Anything I can do while pregnant to not feel utterly worthless around the house is great for my self esteem – plus it keeps the house looking great!
Note: I bought my Swiffer Sweep Vac all on my own. Okay, to be honest, my husband drove to the store and bought it, so I did have assistance…but I didn’t get it free and am not being sponsored by the company. I just dig having a clean floor.
