Gone for a week? What? Did someone die?
Actually, yes, someone did die.
I’ve been thinking about posting since it happened on July 3rd, but…there were never any good words to talk about it.
My great-grandmother was 94 – it’s not like we didn’t see it coming or she wasn’t bedridden for six months. But…she is also the woman that raised me for most of my life. The one that taught me about ambition, equality of women, working hard to produce results, the importance of saving, and so many other lessons that have kept me in this house and paying my bills.
So I’m not big on telling people she’s gone, because when I say “My great-grandmother died…” they assume I have a regular relationship with her and say something awful like, “She’s in a better place…” “It was her time…” “She lived a long life…” or something else that requires me keeping my shit together and not strangling them.
Because I get that she was 94, I get her life was over…that doesn’t matter.
Part of me wanted her to just wake up and be ok again. Get out of bed and get up and have some oatmeal and smile at me and say, “Good morning!”
I know that’s not realistic. I don’t particularly care. I just wanted my gramma back.
Ah well, it could be worse, we could have looting family members and greedy family members and a patriarchal uncle that thinks someone is going to drive him to the airport at four in the morning Tuesday because he only came out long enough to score his cash, planning to take all the paperwork back to Colorado so an estate attorney in a different state can handle everything.
Yeah, right.
I’ll be calling my lawyer on Monday and bringing her the will to see if she can file it and do everything that needs to be done. Not that I’m getting anything out of it. Well, I am, but my inheritance – small as it is – was in a CD with a payable upon death designation … so it doesn’t have anything to do with the will or probate or any of that hooey. There is no reason to take on the responsibility of being executor … except to make sure the real estate passes smoothly to my grandmother – who will then give it to someone else… so I guess I’m just being a good person. What a crock.
Watching people who have wasted their lives getting so much while I’ve done my best to be a good family member, good daughter, and always make my grams proud of me….meh, I’m a little bitter. I have NO right to be, I know that, but I’m sure it’s natural and will pass.
I try to focus on the lessons she taught me that have given me the life I have now. A life I truly adore and am thrilled with.
Of course my grief would be assuaged nicely by getting new windows…but that’s not to be…most of the money is going to be smoked through a crack pipe or spent on a car or blown making new friends a the bar or just being unappreciated.
But I have my life to comfort me. And another goodness knows how long to take care of the remaining sick and almost-bedridden grandmother. The one that won’t leave us a damn red cent because she never made a will, so everything will go to her kids…which I’m not one of…
Not that it matters, because money or not I can’t ignore an elderly woman in need. I’m just not wired like that.
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4 Responses to “Gone for a week? What? Did someone die?”
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Yep – I’m a Joiner!
My condolences.
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I guessed this was going to be your next post. I wish I had been wrong.
So sorry to learn of your loss.
I’m so sorry for your loss. It annoys me when people make assumptions about relationships or feel the need to say something that’s really just to make themselves feel better.
My grandparents had a will but decided to leave everyone a percentage of the family owned business. Here we are three years later with an uncle who’s suing my aunt and sisters who feel the need to take sides (our dad died when we were young so we collectively got his share of the inheritance). It amazes me how terrible families can be to each other.
So sorry to hear about your loss. You and your family are in my thoughts.
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