The New Dirty Hippie: Tie Dye Optional
Sorry, I don’t have pictures for this one.
One of the reasons I’m not afraid to have my baby in my living room is that I know my body. We’ve had a 30+ year relationship and I know what’s going on in there. I’m aware.
When I received an email from my midwife informing me, her other patients, and the rest of her email list that she was going to be holding the mother of all dirty hippie parenting classes I immediately jumped at the chance.
But then, before hitting send, I thought about it … really thought about it … before making my final decision.
My personality is, to be delicate, up-front. To be not as delicate I have moments where I am downright abrasive. There is no malice, or cruelty in my abrasiveness – I’m just sometimes not as aware of how things sound coming out as I am of the need to put something out there and be heard. It’s not that I don’t care about other people’s feelings, I just don’t understand why my opinion would affect someone’s feelings. I mean, I’m just one of a bazillion people on the planet. I’ve been trying to be more mellow and have succeeded around the house, but you know, I still slip.
So I almost bowed out of the birthing class. Not because I didn’t think I’d learn anything or enjoy it – but because I made a judgment call about the other attendees not being able to handle the Jen. Which is kind of egotistical on my part (again with the millions and millions of people) and rude in that it judges all other women who want a more aware birth experience.
Plus, my midwife is smart and I don’t think she would have sent me the invitation if she thought I’d run everyone off. But that thought (the easy one) came after all the soul-searching-for-no-reason stuff.
See, that’s what I call awareness. Soul searching for no reason. It’s totally accurate but doesn’t sound as cool as having an “awareness moment” – right? Awareness moment sounds filled with heavy purpose. For no reason implies no purpose whatsoever. But since I’m using the words the way I mean to use them…I think it is actually more powerful to do something for no reason because it means you don’t have to dress it up to take it out. You don’t have to make it sound like it was slathered in patchouli and tie-dye and give it a false sense of importance and depth to share it with others.
It just is. That’s enough. There doesn’t need to be a reason.
I think there have to be others like me out there. Aware of their bodies, surroundings, and the connections all humans have without having to dive into that abyss of essential oil and Birkenstocks. Who believe that being green is good and don’t shy away from the fact that being green is a great way to save money and be practical. Women who don’t feel guilty being both spiritual and worldly – because both are part of the essential human experience. Women who understand that it’s okay to like incense and budgeting…and maybe even talk about them in the same paragraph.
Bottom line, I signed up for the class. I hope it goes well, but I think it will. I have that thing in my soul that makes me act right for the situation I’m in. Thank goodness or I’d be a total social outcast!
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