Should I Send My Kids to Public School?
My girls are 2 & 3 years old, and in January will turn 3 & 4.
At 3 you can put your child into a half day pre-kindergarten class. Which means I could put Sadie into pre-K starting in January (sure half the semester is over, but we could still put her in for half a year) and Abby would be eligible to start in September of ‘09.
First let’s look at the reasons I want to send my kids to a public school:
- In my school district, the public school is just as good as the very good private school.
- I want my kids out of my hair for a few hours a day.
- Sending them to school gives me guilt-free time to myself to work uninterrupted while I tell myself it’s for their own good because they are learning stuff.
- I want them to be around other children.
- Structured playtime and introduction to a schedule.
Now, let’s look at the reasons I want to homeschool:
- I am afraid my children are going to get made fun of.
- I am afraid my children are not going to fit in.
- I am afraid no matter how well I dress them, they will be attacked for the clothing they wear.
- I am afraid their self-esteem will be destroyed, they will become suicidal, and they will end up dead.
You may think I’m exaggerating and that high school is where you have to worry. You’d be wrong. When we took my oldest daughter to kindergarten five years ago, I saw the cruelty even then. There was a queen bee of the room and the other girls followed her like it was an episode of kiddie gossip girl. They had a vendetta of unknown origin against my stepdaughter and had no fear expressing the distaste they felt for her. They din’t even care if a teacher or parent was around, they doled out their hate regardless of who was around, and were so subtle one teacher actually said I was imagining things. (I assure you, I was not.)
To turn my girls loose into that environment, well, it kind of breaks my heart.
But I do not know if I have the capacity to homeschool my children, when the fear of my children being hurt emotionally that keeps me at home. That’s the first step to them living in my house when they are forty.
So, what to do? Teach them how to insult other children?
It seems the only way I can make them strong is to reinforce their beauty every day, so they are strong enough to stand the attacks of the weak, the jealous, and the cruel children among them.
I love that Dove has a Campaign for Real Beauty. Through these commercials, I saw my first overweight person smiling and being happy with who she is. Since one of my daughters looks like she was blessed with my figure, that is the first thing I thought of.
They’ve expanded the campaign since I first saw it, and have some really powerful commercials (I’m posting the one that brought tears to my eyes and a stab of fear to my heart.) Be warned, it is powerful. (I’m totally not just saying that, I really did cry like a b***h when I saw this and thought of my babies.)
So do I shelter them and keep them at home? Or do I send them out into the wild?
The stats collected from Dove’s Real Beauty Campaign:
Real Girls, Real Pressure: A National Report on the State of Self-Esteem, commissioned by the Dove® Self-Esteem Fund, reveals that there is a self-esteem crisis in this country that pervades every aspect of a girl’s life including her looks, performance in school and relationships with friends and family members
- Seven in ten girls believe they are not good enough or do not measure up in some way, including their looks, performance in school and relationships with friends and family members.
- 62% of all girls feel insecure or not sure of themselves.
- 57% of all girls have a mother who criticizes her own looks.
- More than half (57%) of all girls say they don’t always tell their parents certain things about them because they don’t want them to think badly of them.
- The top wish among all girls is for their parents to communicate better with them which includes more frequent and more open conversations as well as discussions about what is happening in their own lives.
I don’t know about you, but I’m guilty of criticizing my own looks in front of my girls. I have to stop doing that. Being strong is about loving myself and letting them see that first. I’m teaching them, even now, what to believe about beauty.
But, you know, no pressure or anythying.
I just want my daughters to feel they can conquer any mountain in life. I want them to know they are beautiful, inside and out. I don’t want them to ever hear, “It’s okay, you have a good personality.”
I’ll be over at Dove’s Campaign for Real Beauty website at www.campaignforrealbeauty.com - you can download free self-esteem building tools:
- True You and Mirror, Mirror booklets
- Interactive exercises
- Workshop Facilitator Guide DVD
I figure if I use them on me now, maybe I’ll have the hang of thinking I’m rockstar beautiful by the time my girls need me to tell them they are too. (Note: I think I’m amazing and smart and pretty…but my ego is a fickle mistress…she comes and goes…I need more consistency for their sake.)
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7 Responses to “Should I Send My Kids to Public School?”
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Yes.
Now, I could write you a comment that would get me into Guinness for sheer length, or I could link you to two posts I’ve written. I’m going with B. I’m a lazy arsehole.
http://www.whiskeyinmysippycup.com/2008/06/24/to-school-or-not-to-school-that-is-the-question/
And when you get done with that: http://www.whiskeyinmysippycup.com/2008/06/26/the-flip-side-of-the-coin-or-why-i-may-not-homeschool/
I support your lazy arsehole-ness. Thanks for the links!
Yes, send your children to public schools!
1. Public schools needs students and parents that are invested in education and care about the outcome.
2. You can impact the overall outcome of the classroom by the expectations you have for your children, who will model that in their behavior.
3. Volunteer at the school, not only in your child’s class, but in other ways to allow teachers to focus on delivering instruction, and not busy work.
4. Inform the teacher and principal of your expectations. They need to know that you care and have a vested interest in your child’ education. (There are those parents who just expect the kids to get educated just because they send them to school, or little league, or dance, etc.)
5. Discuss the school day with your child. This is not an ‘Inquisition’ but an important means of communicating with your child that school is important, and you want to know what it going on. Start now, and it’s easier when they are in Jr. Hi!
6. Review homework and handouts with your child - this will keep you aware of what is being taught. If you don’t like what you see, talk to the teacher, principal and curriculum director to find out why its being taught, and what alternatives are available (if necessary)
7. Having your child learn to work with other personalities is an important life lesson and is critical a skill as learning to read. Playground etiquette becomes office eitquette, and the bruises are easier to heal when they are young.
8. Think about high school now - find the school district that will be the foundation for your child’s college planning, and make plans to move there before 5th grade. (Curriculum alignment between elementary and high schools starts at that grade.)
Unless you are a college-trained educator, please continue to think hard about the impact of homeschooling your child. If you can put together a team of parents that have the requisite skills and knowledge across math, reading, writing, science, history, physical education, art and music, then it might work. Otherwise, take advantage of a publicly-funded system that has educated many leaders, critics and innovators that have made the world a better place.
Sometimes I feel I’m the only one in my online group who sends their kids to public school! I feel for you because your fears were so similar to what I felt 7 years ago as my oldest headed off to kindergarten. I thought my shy, quiet kid would get lost in some corner.
I’m happy to say that I couldn’t have been more wrong! My oldest was/is pretty quiet but she didn’t fall for any of the typical girl-crap…she befriended all the boys and they played kickball everyday on the playground. And she wore some pretty funky clothing combinations but never wanted to change if I questioned her choice. I figure this was her unique way of showing her individuality. To my knowledge, nobody has ever said anything bad to her about those choices. Today she’s in 6th grade with a 93 gpa.
My youngest is quite the opposite - very social, into fashion - and we’ve already had talks about respect and how to treat classmates. She’s keenly aware of who seems popular but I counter that with being kind to all her classmates.
Yes, some of the stuff you described does occur; I’ve got a friend whose daughter had an awful 2nd grade because so many trouble maker kids were lumped into one class. And I do not live in a city that has trouble passing the budgets or problems with attendance, so maybe to some I’m living with rose-colored glasses. I just wanted you to know public school can be a good thing.
Ultimately the choice is yours but I encourage you to at least visit your public school, talk to the teachers and staff, ask what their discipline involves, and ask if they participate in Responsive Classroom. That’s a philosophy that teaches respect and kindness in the classroom.
And your public school needs parents like you who want to be involved in their kids’ lives!
Wow, did I ramble! Good luck with your choice
Randy - First, I would not be schooling my child. I would go through http://www.k12.com, an accredited private school program. There are books, lessons, and teacher conferences weekly. No way would I take all THAT on.
Second, I thought about high school before we bought our house. High schools here are blue ribbon (literally) and have diversity to boot. The quality of education was never an issue. That’s why it’s so difficult to decide.
Third, I know how to go over homework with a child, and last time I had a child in school I did volunteer - I know what is involved with having a child in a public school.
Finally, my daughter is in dance class and if we did homeschool we would put our children in after-school, weekend, and summer activities so they would be in a group setting with other children. I’m not trying to isolate them, I just don’t like the idea of how kids act in a school environment.
p.s. Some teachers like involved parents. As long as the kids are smart and have no problems. When I tried to get an IEP for my stepdaughter (who had no academic issues) I had to fight tooth and nail. And I’m in a great school district. Plus, I remember how teachers treated me - I was a polite child but smarter than most of my teachers by junior high. Teachers only like smart students…not REALLY smart students.
Thanks so much for your coment!
Christina - I have already been to my local public school. It’s great. Really. The quality of education is as good as it gets.
Thanks for the words of encouragement - maybe I just need to keep talking to my friend that insists they have to go and let her convince me. Maybe I just want to be convinced.
I don’t want my kids to think the only option is to be like mommy and never. leave. the. house. For me it’s to raise them…but they might see it as the way women live. That would not be a good thing.
As a mom who sent her only child to a private school from age 3 until he was 11, this is what I have to say: get outta yer head and into yer gut. That is where you will find your answer. Step out on faith, the net will appear. Either way, in retrospect, I would not have sent him to any institutionalized anything until he was at least 6. Just my 2 cents.