Good Things, Bad Things, Stuff Happens Like That
Yesterday we found out that Randy’s grandmother passed away.
Sure she was old, and had Alzheimer’s, and kept breaking out (I’m so not kidding) out of different nursing homes, missed her long-ago passed away husband, and had almost entirely lost her sense of balance.
But even with all that, it’s really sad. Not sad in that, “Gone before her time” way, but sad in a “Wow, I’ll really miss her” way.
The thing is, I don’t miss her the way she is now. I miss her the way she used to be when I first met her (the family says she was already not in the best shape when I met her but she seemed okay, albeit deaf, to me.)
When the elderly pass, it’s like we mourn the fact that until that moment we had hope they might wake up one day as the person we remembered from our youth, or even ten years ago. What we lose isn’t just the shell of the person that is nothing like the one we remember, we lose that hope that we might have seen another glimpse while they were still here.
It doesn’t make it hurt less to know that’s what the feeling is…I’m just sharing, like I always do. Because I don’t really know how to react. I wasn’t close to this grandmother like I was to Randy’s other grandmother that passed away last year … right around this time, as a matter of fact. His Gramma K’s funeral was on Halloween.
Sadly, his only grandmothers left are mine, and they’re not in the best of health either. Especially my great-grandmother, who is 93 and amazingly ok for her age. But…not so great if she were 50, know what I mean?
He went to work this morning, but will leave early to go to the wake. Then, we will drop our kids off at a friend’s tomorrow so I can attend the funeral with Randy.
On a brighter note, today I’m hunkering down and focusing on what I’m doing, what I need to be doing, and how to get it done. A schedule. Daily goals for where to write and what to write there. So I don’t get lost in the sea of blogs.
Bye Gramma Vera. You will be missed.
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Yep – I’m a Joiner!
My condolences to you and Randy and the rest of the family.
My husband’s grandfather passed away around this time of year 4 years ago and I still miss him EVERY SINGLE DAY. He was the only member of the family that ever accepted me fully and wholly for me – without qualifications. Even my own husband doesn’t do that, nor do his parents. I think about him every day, and wonder how he’s liking this whole political thing he’s watching now – because he was very opinionated about politics, morals, ethics, and the decline of common sense.
assuming that you already know where you are dropping the munchkins, but if that falls through, I’m home and available. (((hugs)))
My condolences on your loss. I know how hard it is to lose someone to Alzheimer’s. It’s often called “the long goodbye”.
If you guys need ANYTHING, just give me a call.