Food Fight!
My husband wakes me up before he leaves for work. He lets me know what has been taken care of and what I need to do when I wake up. Here are the necessities that he sometimes does and sometimes does not take care of:
- Feed Children
- Change Children
- Feed Dogs
- Let Dogs Out
- Make Coffee
- Feed Mr. Turtley
- Turn on Mr. Turtley’s lamp
I don’t get snippy if he doesn’t get it all done, because I know it’s difficult enough just getting ready in the morning much less a list of chores! All I ask is that he let me know what he did or did not do (Whichever list is shorter (the do’s or the I did’s) is the one he gives me, for simplicity’s sake, in the AM). This morning all I got was, “I only had time to make coffee.”
What I didn’t realize before this morning is that list helps me actually, physically, wake up in the morning. Only one thing did not do the trick and when I opened my eyes it was 9am!
Normally this wouldn’t be a big deal…but Randy also forgot to tie the dog gate shut that leads into the kitchen.
Even that, not such a big deal, the kitchen is childproof. Well, it was. I didn’t realize my darling 3yo Sadie was strong enough now to open the refrigerator. You see where I’m going now, don’t you? But it’s still a fun ride…stick with me.
I stagger out of my bedroom toward the coffeepot, unaware of the trauma I’m about to experience.
My fridge is empty.
Hold on. I’m really not sure you understood the hugeness of what I said.
Picture a completely empty refrigerator. Now picture every individual thing from your refrigerator on the ground or on a counter or in the living room and most of it is open.
Now I think we’re on the same page.
They used the stepstool to get to the freezer.
There were freezy pops, empty hot dog containers, and cheese everywhere.
There was so much food consumed and thrown about my two dogs had stopped eating. When dogs are full you KNOW there was a lot of food happening.
Jam was on my kitchen table and the floor and the counters. The girls were covered in jam and butter and smelled vaguely of hot dogs, cheese, and something else I couldn’t identify. Perhaps success at a raid well accomplished?
Either way, the floor and kitchen table still have sesame seeds stuck all over them. Walking into my kitchen is like walking on, well, jam and sesame seeds. There’s really no analogy.
So good morning to you. I cleaned up what I could, but am on deadline so left some for Randy, because it’s a huge no-no to leave the gate undone. (Yes the gate used to have a latch, they used a toy to crowbar it apart and it snapped the lock. I figure why buy another one they’ll just break again when I can tie it shut and try to teach them to stay the hell out of my kitchen unless they’re helping me cook.
All in all it was such a huge disaster I couldn’t even muster the energy to get mad at them. My first thought (honest to goodness) was, "At least I can have my first cup of coffee without having to worry about feeding them first."
I try to remain an optimist. Always.
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candy’s last blog post..Heard from…. The… errr… Living Room
Okay, now that I’ve recovered a bit… you make me VERY glad I’m a light sleeper. The bad part is that once anyone else at all is up in the house, I’m up. The good? Apparently no children can empty my fridge. LOL. Wow. They are talented. Did you put them in time out or something? LOL. What the heck do you even DO about that exactly?
I would have cried and then called Tom to come home and fix it cuz… ewww… I can’t deal with smelly smells.
By the way… PLEASE tell me you got pictures and will be sharing those. Cuz I like really really need photographs.
candy’s last blog post..Heard from…. The… errr… Living Room
Wow! All I can say is I’m sorry.
Like Candy, I hope you got pictures!
Sally Kuhlman’s last blog post..Boundaries are a Necessity
ROFL!!! I can see the girls doing that too! As Candy said, we need pictures!
LOL! I have a Sadie who will be 3 in September
And yes she has been opening the fridge for some time now with interesting results!
Carrie Lauth’s last blog post..What Would I Sell Online To Make Money?
OMG … you make me sooooo thankful all of my kids are grown up and not living at home. I’d love to see photos too … especially of the look on your face when you walked into the kitchen and saw the mess
Wow. Now I’m scared. Oy vey. Please tell me you took photos. Again, oy.
So you’re the one that ended up with my kids’ twins. Sorry, don’t want them back. Just thought I’d say “Howdy.”
Crystal’s last blog post..Crouching Toddler, Hidden Diaper
Oh darling! I feel for you, really I do. Had similar albeit slightly less disaster-ly happen to me. Finally investing in a fridge lock (which the four year old has already mastered… ugh!).
It’s difficult to stay “non-toxic” about an episode like that, but you seem to be doing a great job!
themommykelly’s last blog post..Ode To Diapers.com
I literally laughed until I cried when I read that. I’m imagining my 7 year old, almost 18 month old and our 3 year old 110 pound Lab doing what you described. I still have a tear in the corner of my eye. I’m gonna have to read it again! I hope you get it all cleaned up and back to normal. I’m guessing there’s a shopping trip in your future. You can just take the cost of the extra food out of their future allowance.