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Yep – I’m a Joiner!
Super Boring Finance Update
This writing thing is fantastic. I just cannot tell you how much it thrills me to have an extra check every month that is enough to pay the mortgage. We don’t use it to pay the mortgage, I’m just saying that to me that’s a lot! (We don’t have a $200,000 house tho, so it’s not THAT huge a check LOL.)
But wow, I’ve never had so much fun playing with numbers and adding things up. We didn’t even have a budget for my birthday party on Saturday. We just bought what we needed to buy, and that was that. The not worrying was something so new for me I didn’t know how to feel. I’d get confused and think, “Shouldn’t I be complaining about something?” When Randy would come in with groceries or yet another party supply.
One of the things we’ve been doing is opening all the mail that comes in. If you’ve ever read Shoe Addicts Anonymous
Well I’m not in a book, but I did the same thing. I think a lot of people do (if they don’t, please don’t tell me…I’m okay living in a fantasy where I’m the only one that lets the kids play with the mail so I can later say, “those darn kids got it what was I supposed to do, tape it back together?”) and just don’t tell everyone else because they have different boundaries than I do.
Of course there’s the added bonuses of guilt and shame that come with money when you don’t have enough too but that’s a post for a psychiatrist to make, not me!
So now it’s the Tetris game of, “What to pay off first?” There are a couple HUGE debts (can you say student loans?) a few medium size debts in the low thousands, and then there is the mass of piddly $50 – $300 debts. Those are the really embarrassing ones. I sometimes ask myself, “Did you seriously not have $95 to just pay that off?” Sadly the answer for a long time was no.
I cannot imagine how much more difficult this would all be if we had credit card debt on top of it all.
Oh, and it looks like next month *fingers crossed* we’ll be paying off the car. Please, ask me what I’m doing with that $300/month payment. We’re putting it into a *gasp* savings account. Go figure.
While I think it’s fine and dandy for the six-figure families to rock out with the Dave Ramsey
I wonder how many people like me, bought those books for the day when we could have enough money. So, you know, I’d know how to not mess it all up when I was finally on track.
So maybe they weren’t the worst purchases I’ve ever made, after all. *laugh* It’s all in how you look at it, I guess.
Friday, Friday Everywhere but Not a Time to Drink
It’s only 2:30pm here in the beautiful Chicago Suburbs and all I want is a margarita.
But there’s this voice in my head that says if I have a margarita and something happens to one of my kids (aka they stick their hands in the fans – the fans we rock like the Rolling Stones during this time of no air conditioning. Yes we have the window unit but I see this as an endurance test. Can I not use the air and live? Tune in to find out!) it is all my fault.
But if you had the margarita maker
Don’t believe me? Go look. Seriously…it’s a monster of a beautiful thing. Horribly beautiful or some such thing.
See, I’m in that totally weird place where I start narrating my own life. Not just for you, oh no! I do it when I walk into the kitchen and find myself saying (out loud) "It’s time for SAMMICHES!!!" Getting the kids all jumping and excited and then the dogs start barking.
I wield a lot of power around these parts.
In other liquor related news Randy is stopping at Binny’s Beverage Depot (aka HEAVEN) where they have fun things like bottle signings by Jeff Leinenkugel (I don’t know how to spell it and don’t love Leiney’s enough to look it up. If it was Hamm’s…well then I’d be looking that up!) I’m so class. So class.
I also have a chip in my manicure from last Saturday. It’s the most obnoxiously obvious french mani I’ve ever had. I adore it for it’s garishness.
What a rambling, half-insane wrap-up of my week. Oh, and the editor at one of the writing companies I work with quit this week. That was surreal.
Back to party planning. I’ll try to update later…I know there was another story about the girls I wanted to share…
Food Fight!
My husband wakes me up before he leaves for work. He lets me know what has been taken care of and what I need to do when I wake up. Here are the necessities that he sometimes does and sometimes does not take care of:
- Feed Children
- Change Children
- Feed Dogs
- Let Dogs Out
- Make Coffee
- Feed Mr. Turtley
- Turn on Mr. Turtley’s lamp
I don’t get snippy if he doesn’t get it all done, because I know it’s difficult enough just getting ready in the morning much less a list of chores! All I ask is that he let me know what he did or did not do (Whichever list is shorter (the do’s or the I did’s) is the one he gives me, for simplicity’s sake, in the AM). This morning all I got was, “I only had time to make coffee.”
What I didn’t realize before this morning is that list helps me actually, physically, wake up in the morning. Only one thing did not do the trick and when I opened my eyes it was 9am!
Normally this wouldn’t be a big deal…but Randy also forgot to tie the dog gate shut that leads into the kitchen.
Even that, not such a big deal, the kitchen is childproof. Well, it was. I didn’t realize my darling 3yo Sadie was strong enough now to open the refrigerator. You see where I’m going now, don’t you? But it’s still a fun ride…stick with me.
I stagger out of my bedroom toward the coffeepot, unaware of the trauma I’m about to experience.
My fridge is empty.
Hold on. I’m really not sure you understood the hugeness of what I said.
Picture a completely empty refrigerator. Now picture every individual thing from your refrigerator on the ground or on a counter or in the living room and most of it is open.
Now I think we’re on the same page.
They used the stepstool to get to the freezer.
There were freezy pops, empty hot dog containers, and cheese everywhere.
There was so much food consumed and thrown about my two dogs had stopped eating. When dogs are full you KNOW there was a lot of food happening.
Jam was on my kitchen table and the floor and the counters. The girls were covered in jam and butter and smelled vaguely of hot dogs, cheese, and something else I couldn’t identify. Perhaps success at a raid well accomplished?
Either way, the floor and kitchen table still have sesame seeds stuck all over them. Walking into my kitchen is like walking on, well, jam and sesame seeds. There’s really no analogy.
So good morning to you. I cleaned up what I could, but am on deadline so left some for Randy, because it’s a huge no-no to leave the gate undone. (Yes the gate used to have a latch, they used a toy to crowbar it apart and it snapped the lock. I figure why buy another one they’ll just break again when I can tie it shut and try to teach them to stay the hell out of my kitchen unless they’re helping me cook.
All in all it was such a huge disaster I couldn’t even muster the energy to get mad at them. My first thought (honest to goodness) was, "At least I can have my first cup of coffee without having to worry about feeding them first."
I try to remain an optimist. Always.
HSN is My Dirty Little Secret
I get a lot of emails from PR representatives. When a review or giveaway is part of the plan I put it over on MommyBlog Reviews so it doesn’t get all mixed up with my personal stuff.
But this one I’m willing to do here because it gives me an excuse to talk about my most awesome dirty little secret.
Home Shopping Network *drool*
I know some of you are probably thinking HSN is only for 800 karat rings, but oh no…there is so much more. My last two computers have come from HSN, because they not only sell Gateway (I heart Gateway) but they also have the mother of all budgeting love – easy pay.
No interest, no credit card, just, “Pay it in five installments, ok?” Sure, HSN, I can handle that. Anything for you my late-night TV demon lover!
I’m 99% sure we’re going to get our next big set of cookware from HSN, because they have that Emeril stuff. We’re very anti-non-stick in this family so those stainless steel pans send my heart all a-flutter.
Now…faux crock bags. Oh yes, ooooooh yes! I just got a call from my friend who is THE fashionista and she tells me croc is so in it’s not even funny. Just because I work from home doesn’t mean my sense of style is dead, people! I love being trendy and bags always come in your size!
So join me June 27th in watching the CALLA Handbags presentation (I may live Twitter it as well)
Here is an excerpt from the press release I got that set me to drooling…
On Friday, June 27th www.BagTrends.com founder and VH1 Fashion Correspondent Pamela Pekerman is dishing on summer/early fall trends and the hottest new styles from CALLA Handbags!
On June 27th, tune into HSN or www.HSN.com, to purchase the Today’s Special CALLA Concord Satchel in croco-embossed black, rose, bronze, steel or camel material for $59.90. With gas prices hitting $5 a gallon, don’t stop shopping – shop smarter! This satchel has the look of crocodile at a fraction of the coast and is the perfect marriage of fashion and function – hello, 5 pockets and generous shoulder strap drop.
CALLA is a new diffusion line from Charm and Luck designer Jenny Syquia. Beyoncé, Lindsay Lohan and others stylish celebrities have all been spotted with Charm and Luck bags. CALLA (Charm And Luck Los Angeles) has similar style-conscious bagistas in mind but these hot handbags won’t break the bank! Retailing from $60 to $110, CALLA bags are made from high-quality, man-made leather and feature animal embossed prints.
I’m not being paid for this post. I just have a weakness for fun bags and HSN. That’s it. Hope you enjoy the presentation as much as I do, because I’m planning on grabbing some popcorn for the event.
I’m not kidding – I seriously love the way those live hosts rock the sales. If you’re looking for better networking skills and marketing panache HSN is a great tutorial. The way they talk to the callers on the phone. Sheer genius!
Creating My Husband
I’m sure this is a pretty standard issue in most marriages.
I want to be able to determine my husband’s priorities. LIke, completely. Totally. I want to be able to dictate where and when he does things, and make him want to do things that I want him to do.
For example (you didn’t think I’d leave you hanging, did you?) he’s out back right now building a garden. I kid you not, he has wood and soil and starter plants…he’s all about it. His father is a pretty great backyard gardener, so I’m not surprised. But there’s this writing work he’s supposed to be doing for me at some point.
Here is where we differ in priorities.
I’m having a birthday party on June 28th (are you coming? You’re so invited! Email me for location info!) and he wants the backyard to look lovely and be done with the garden and all the deep cleaning he’s doing so people don’t come over and wonder how we don’t all die of cholera.
But I want him to be doing the writing work because my number one priority is to be debt free by the time the girls are both in kindergarten. At least down to being debt free with a mortgage. See, I’m flexible!
The sick, sick thing is that his priority is me, and my priority is the family finances. So I’m in this awful place where I feel like I can only push so much, because he’s not even behind on schedule for the writing work!
Guess who is behind in their writing work? Guess who is missing a deadline as I type this blog entry…
Yeah, it’s not him, I’ll tell you that much.
Maybe I’m focusing on him so I don’t have to look at the work I need to be doing and just…well…don’t want to. Both projects put me in a less than desirable place. I don’t know if I can do one project as well as it needs to be done, and the other project…let’s just say it doesn’t pay that well. I’m too old for prestige projects. You know, the ones that give you little money and big bragging rights. I don’t want bragging rights, I want money.
Gosh…I sound really horribly, evilly greedy financially driven, don’t I?
Maybe just a tad bit ungrateful too.
Perhaps it’s that I’m still hanging on to the barely perceptible undercurrent of bitterness that was the first four years of our marriage where my husband didn’t have a full time job. Maybe I’m still living in the place of fear that we won’t be able to pay our next electric bill. Maybe the food pantry visits aren’t far enough behind me to see myself in a new light.
How can I transition from being scared all the time to being secure in the place I’m in now?
How do I stop feeling poor and scared and like I’m scratching to get to a place where I can relax? When does the relaxing actually occur? I have this sick feeling that there will always be some other out of reach goal I set for myself in order to throw my poor nose into yet another grindstone.
It seems that no matter what I accomplish, no matter what new thing I learn how to do…every time I choose not to work (because in my world, relaxing is choosing not to work) I feel overwhelmed with guilt and a horrible sense of shame that I’m not doing everything I can for my family and my future.
How can I change my perception of myself on a deep enough level that I don’t hate myself when I’m not working, and never feel like I accomplish enough during the times I do work?
I wish there was a bell curve I could reference and know for sure. Am I doing better than 80% or am I in the lower 20th percentile? Where am I?
Gosh, I’m introspective today. All because my husband decided to build a garden.
Creating My Husband
I’m sure this is a pretty standard issue in most marriages.
I want to be able to determine my husband’s priorities. LIke, completely. Totally. I want to be able to dictate where and when he does things, and make him want to do things that I want him to do.
For example (you didn’t think I’d leave you hanging, did you?) he’s out back right now building a garden. I kid you not, he has wood and soil and starter plants…he’s all about it. His father is a pretty great backyard gardener, so I’m not surprised. But there’s this writing work he’s supposed to be doing for me at some point.
Here is where we differ in priorities.
I’m having a birthday party on June 28th (are you coming? You’re so invited! Email me for location info!) and he wants the backyard to look lovely and be done with the garden and all the deep cleaning he’s doing so people don’t come over and wonder how we don’t all die of cholera.
But I want him to be doing the writing work because my number one priority is to be debt free by the time the girls are both in kindergarten. At least down to being debt free with a mortgage. See, I’m flexible!
The sick, sick thing is that his priority is me, and my priority is the family finances. So I’m in this awful place where I feel like I can only push so much, because he’s not even behind on schedule for the writing work!
Guess who is behind in their writing work? Guess who is missing a deadline as I type this blog entry…
Yeah, it’s not him, I’ll tell you that much.
Maybe I’m focusing on him so I don’t have to look at the work I need to be doing and just…well…don’t want to. Both projects put me in a less than desirable place. I don’t know if I can do one project as well as it needs to be done, and the other project…let’s just say it doesn’t pay that well. I’m too old for prestige projects. You know, the ones that give you little money and big bragging rights. I don’t want bragging rights, I want money.
Gosh…I sound really horribly, evilly greedy financially driven, don’t I?
Maybe just a tad bit ungrateful too.
Perhaps it’s that I’m still hanging on to the barely perceptible undercurrent of bitterness that was the first four years of our marriage where my husband didn’t have a full time job. Maybe I’m still living in the place of fear that we won’t be able to pay our next electric bill. Maybe the food pantry visits aren’t far enough behind me to see myself in a new light.
How can I transition from being scared all the time to being secure in the place I’m in now?
How do I stop feeling poor and scared and like I’m scratching to get to a place where I can relax? When does the relaxing actually occur? I have this sick feeling that there will always be some other out of reach goal I set for myself in order to throw my poor nose into yet another grindstone.
About 3/4 through the month of April I decided I wanted to be a problogger, and here it is, the end of June and I’m a b5media blogger and make actual cash money from my three main blogs. My newest blog, MommyBlog Reviews, is turning out to be an amazing success…I even have a co-blogger! I mean, seriously, overachiver much?
Every time I choose not to work (because in my world, relaxing is choosing not to work) I feel overwhelmed with guilt and a horrible sense of shame that I’m not doing everything I can for my family.
How can I change my perception of myself on a deep enough level that I don’t hate myself when I’m not working, and never feel like I accomplish enough during the times I do work?
I wish there was a bell curve I could reference and know for sure. Am I doing better than 80% or am I in the lower 20th percentile? Where am I?
Gosh, I’m introspective today. All because my husband decided to build a garden.
I am an Amazing Public Speaker
I know, it’s so rude to say things about how fantastic I am. This blog is about my connections with you and being interested in the people that are kind enough to show interest in me.
But I did my FIRST speaking event ever, for 30-ish (maybe 35?) people and I kicked BUTT!
There was laughter, there were many questions….I’m a natural.
Just wanted to share and make sure this made it into the blog for posterity.
After the speaking gig I came home and took a five hour nap. Networking events wear me out physically and mentally (no matter how much fun I have) and I needed to recharge.
I feel better now.
Thank you for being here to share my triumph 
Weather’s Cruelty (or…I almost financed it)
If I were ever going to renounce my faith in weather, it would be on a humid, muggy, cold morning like this one.
What possible plus side can there be to being cold but being too sticky to put long sleeves on?
Over the weekend our central air conditioning unit decided it could no longer reside on this mortal coil and went to air conditioner heaven. We have a window unit in our living room, but our house is pretty long and getting that air to the back rooms is possible, but an effort.
We called in a tech (who charged a hundred bucks, gak!) To tell us there was a leak in the unit, but he couldn’t say where, and scheduled us to see an engineer the next day.
Next day comes, Randy takes off of work, and the engineer pops by the house. He looks at everything, then sits down with a black binder, a piece of paper, a pencil, and a calculator.
To replace our air conditioning he would recommend this and it does that and it costs $3795….he would be happy to write up the papers on the spot to finance it.
Since it was about 80 degrees outside, Randy said ok and filled out the paperwork. After the salesgineer left we talked about it and decided to get a second opinion. We called another well-known air-conditioner company in our area and for the next product up the chain in expense, that company would charge $3200. We were getting a lower quality product for almost $600 more! Randy called and told the first company we had changed our mind on the financing and we would call when we had saved the money we needed.
Then we had to really put our heads together and decide if we wanted to do financing at the new place. Did we really want to jump through the credit hoop after living without credit for so long? Sure there was a six-month no interest thing but that would mean payments of $600/mo. for six months. Our last payment for the darn thing would be in December!! I don’t know about you but I think I’d be bitter about making payments on something in Oct/Nov/Dec that I won’t be using until June!
Randy and I decided to wait. We will either get enough extra freelance work that we can purchase an air conditioner outright, or we won’t buy one until next summer when we have enough saved to buy it outright.
We still have the window unit and box fans, so we rely on our memories of how we kept bedrooms cool back when we lived in apartments. It’s not so bad, really. In order to conserve energy (since I’m pretty sure our AC window unit from 1962 isn’t Energy Star rated *laugh*) we turn it on for an hour, then leave it off for three or four hours.
Will that help? What do you think?
Image Source: stocker via sxc.hu
