It is better to be simple than to be good | Networking Edition
My great-grandmother always said to me
It is easier to be good than to be simple.
I’ve never checked it for attribution in Bartlett’s Familiar Quotations because, honestly, she’s 93 and I’ve been hearing it all my life so in my mind, it’s her phrase.
She told me this because I have a bit of a natural propensity for being very good at things without a lot of effort. When I was young I thought this was good enough so I wouldn’t push for great. I was happy putting in not much effort and generating better than expected results.
My great-grandmother, of the “I fed my children a banana, an orange, and an apple every day through the depression” generation, believed in hard work. No matter how good you were naturally, work would make it better.
Not unlike other people I know, there was also a tendancy to over-complicate situations, thoughts, and just about anything. Over analyzing, being dramatic, and thinking it made me smart and interesting to use 20 point scrabble words that no one understood. I was a know-it-all, and I was awful. Luckily I had gram whispering in my ear at every turn, “It is easier to be good than to be simple.”
I blew it off as old woman ramblings when I was young, but once I hit college (and a whole new breed of know-it-all…the professor) I started to understand what she meant.
Being smart can start off as a very comforting security blanket. You’re smart. It’s what you are, and it becomes part of your self-identity. That’s all well and good, but if you leave it unchecked and don’t come down from your self-placed pedestal, you end up being that caracture of a professor that speaks and no one understands and he comforts himself with Kafka books and lofty literature that’s really just a crappy story strung together with more 20 point scrabble words.
It becomes a cage that doesn’t let you learn about other people unless you’ve pre-judged them as “good enough” to talk to. They have to be smart too, so you can talk about smart and lofty things together. Things like philosophy. People who would shun you if you giggled when you said Kant. (as in, oh no…I just Kant! *laugh*) Then you’re trapped, get comfortable, and live a well-read but entirely shallow experience barely passing for a life.
To be simple is a whole other ball of wax. Learning how to clearly communicate in words that really meant what I intended as opposed to big words that the listener didn’t understand was difficult! There are so many words, and they all have these lovely nuances, and you can only pick one for your sentence, statement, or elevator pitch. You don’t want to string together ten adjectives because then you’re losing your message – much like putting too much barbecue sauce on a piece of chicken. At some point you get to that magic place of diminishing returns and you realize you may as well have eaten a bucket of BBQ sauce.
But…if you can master being simple and getting your point across…you will live in a world of people with different lives, different beliefs, and different points of view. The way you see the world will be changed and helped by all of these people with all of these experiences. They’ll help you if you need it, and you help them when they need it. Instead of only knowing other people that can call a plumber, you may actually know a plumber, and wouldn’t that be more handy? Think a plumber can’t teach you anything or be a friend to you? Think again!
Learning not to judge people is the number one lesson you can learn going into a networking event. You don’t know walking in who is going to be the best person to talk to for your business, for your personal life, or for your job success. So make with the networking and find out firsthand!
But, you can’t talk to everyone the same way and deliver the same elevator speech or you’re going to be sunk.
When you are in a networking situation, you’re there to network. You don’t get to network with only smart people, or only pretty people, or only nice people. You get a mix. The kicker is, you don’t know which of the people in the room (just from looking) is the one that will be the most beneficial to your business.
So what’s a networker to do?
Start with a little honest self-reflection. Write down your strengths and weaknesses when it comes to interacting with other people. Don’t be mean, but really, try to be Honest (with a capital H!) – do people think you’re friendly? Do people think you’re aloof? Do you not know because you don’t let people get in a word edgewise to tell you? Do people use “obnoxious, overbearing, very exuberant” to describe you? Do people yawn when yout talk to them?
All of those are networking death knolls, but they’re also things you can change.
Let people talk about themselves. Care about what they’re saying. This a)Makes you a nice person because you care about what someone else is saying – and they’ll feel that way about you. The business upshot is b)You will now know if your company can be of assistance to that company and exactly HOW you can help (because they’ve just told you all about it!)
Having trouble breaking the ice with others? Martini Marketing® has something you will love more than the olive in a martini, more than ice in your orange juice, more than bacon! February you’re going to fall in love with me, I promise 
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2 Responses to “It is better to be simple than to be good | Networking Edition”
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Yep – I’m a Joiner!
I love reading your blog. You are so dang funny!
That’s one of the reasons I picked you over on my blog to participate in a meme. http://www.singlewahm.com/blog/2008/01/08/7-weird-things-about-me/ for details.
That and read on your old blog that on this blog you are going to mix biz and personal. He he he…
Wonderful post!
Thanks for reminding us to keep it simple. I’m off to a networking event right now and plan to turn off my judgment blinder’s as much as possible and talk to some new people I haven’t met before.
Now would I be considered an annoying know-it-all if I print your post and hand it to every person I meet that thinks their PhD makes them better, smarter or more important than others?
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